Last picture show mississippi 
I went into the junk shop expecting to barter 
over what looked like a 57 Philco tv ; 
here they watch what kind of pick up you pull up in
 and price you accordingly ;
 I am told ithe practice is as old as Hercaleum and Pompeii ;
 you know same ka ka different day .
 I parked my used chariot outside and ambled in with my hat brim 
turned up trying to show off my education by singing   'Howzitgoing

The good woman who i surprized was up on a library ladder 
trying to steady some hat boxes that were full of paper reciepts ; 
just as I came in  they and she started to  rock and tumble
 all at the same time ; as a survivor of 911  I know when to run 
faster than a speeding bullet I caught her and the ladder 
just at what engineers refer to as the "moment " 
and your mother might  call her unmentionables.
Since I was the hero of the moment ;  I didn't get my face slaped 
;I just stood there holding her while she got her footing 
;when just then I hear the shop door open and someone come in 
."are you all right ?" a woman asks  the lady on the ladder
Its  a woman architect who has hired me and I am supposed to meet her here 
outside to look at a building 
Ive never met her before but i recognize her voice from my phone 
conversations 
I m ok ' the woman responds struggling  to get her footing but I don't know 
about him ?
We must of looked like a circus act ; you know the donkey and the tail ;
Right now all I am to  this visitor is a haircut  and if i could I would  
keep it that way ; ; I mean you never know how its all going to play in Mayberry  

I ask the good woman on the ladder  to please climb up a little  so she can 
get her footing and I can be free of her unmentionables ; 
She obliges and i  pop free  with a beet red face  and hair sporting the egg 
beater look .Unable to properly explain myself I begin to gamble a little and 
introduce myself in a nervous effort  to break the ice.
 and as I do so   the good shopkeeper   decends the ladder smiling and  also 
shakes my hand thanking me while insisting to the architect visitor  
"its not how it looks";"
  So far so good  sez I 
Thankfully she  decribes in detail what happened  ;
  'He  really was a hero "she insists " and  came to my rescue  
My client is a good sport and lets me off the hook 
then  we say our good byes  to the  shop keeper   
but not before she asks  us what are you  doing here anyway?  .
the woman architect  responds that we are going to inspect a building next 
door  "and this is my crack expert "..
. well the room went stone dead 
..now it was the architects turn to back peddle  
meanwhile  I stare at my shoe and wonder how its all going to end  when the 
good woman on the ladder pipes up and ends it all  by saying 
 she will give me a good recomendation .
The architects report however never mentions any cracks ; 
only fissures ; 
Py 
.


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