<<Disclaimer: Verify this information before applying it to your situation.>> No need to respond. Someone posted this on the DC Celiac list. It made me laugh. Richard Paul Washington, DC ================================================== This is from my UK celiac group: So true..... You know you have Coeliac Disease if …….. 1. if your bread looks like a moon rock and tastes like dried out .....'PLAY DOH'. 2. if you have written .."CONTAMINATED" .. on jars of jam. 3. if at least once a day you fake a smile and say, ... "Sorry, I can't have that." 4. if you call a dream about eating pizza and chocolate cake .....'A NIGHTMARE' 5. if you eat .. 'BEFORE' .. you go out to eat. 6. if you ..'bring your own soy-sauce'.. to the sushi restaurant. 7. if you think the words .."ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT ALL IN YOUR HEAD?".. are grounds for murder, Especially when they come from your DOCTOR! 8. if you have thought about strangling friends and relatives who suggest "It won't hurt you to have just a a little bit, will it?" 9. if you can’t remember what ..'Crackers are supposed to taste like'. 10. if you actually have ..'Nightmares about reading labels'. 11. if you compare all of your food to .."Normal-people-food." 12. if you call all your relatives when you get sick and say. “It MUST have be been something Cross-Contaminated at your place”! 13. if you know that Xantham Gum '..is NOT for chewing'. 14. if you know that 'Spelt' is a distant cousin of wheat, but 'Buckwheat' Is not related to wheat at all. 15. if the builders working on the house next door can EASILY substitute.. 'Your Bread' .. for one of their bricks. 16. if you actually .. KNOW .. what an 'anti-TTG and an IGA blood test are'. 17. if you can find .. "Hidden Gluten" .. in food labels in the blink of an eye, and your family couldn't find them if they had a ... MAGNIFYING GLASS, DICTIONARY, and PH.D. 18. if you've had to give a doctor a .. 'Crash Course' in Coeliac Disease. 19. if a 7 Course Meal is a .. '1 Course Meal for you'...... Lettuce. 20. if you've installed ..floor-to-ceiling bookcases in your bathroom. 21. if it takes you 4 hours to do your grocery shopping and your ....'EYESIGHT IS RUINED'. 22. if you .. 'Hyper-Ventilate' .. when passing by the bakery counter. 23. if you've ever deliberately rammed your trolley into a Shredded Wheat display ... 'in a fit of rage'. 24. if you've ever had to ..'Take out a Loan' ..to pay the grocery bill. 25. if the centerpiece on your dining room table is ..'a bread machine with memorial candles'. 26. if your financial portfolio consists of stock in ..'Two Major Toilet Paper Companies'. 27. if you are up late at night trying to 'Develop a Recipe for Pizza without' Flour, Cheese, Yeast, Tomatoes, Beef, Garlic and Oregano. 28. if you can spell..'Transglutaminase' and 'Dermatitis Herpetiformis'. 29. if you just discovered 'how to make flour out of'...... TURNIPS. 30. if having a ..'Solid Poo'.. is the highlight of your day. 31. if you've mastered saying .."I actually enjoy MY food" without your face ..'twitching' 32. if you know all about xanthan gum and its uses. 33. if you hide the gluten-free cookies when friends come over, so they don’t eat them. 34. if you see someone buying rice flour and you just have to ask them if they are gluten intolerant too! 35. if your friend want’s to make you a Gluten Free Birthday Cake, but you plead with them not to go to that trouble, because you're Secretly Terrified it will be 'Cross Contaminated'. 36. if all your ‘Favourite’ sites are coeliac related. 37. if you've mastered the art of lying when people ask you ..“Aren’t you hungry”. 38. if you long to look at the contents of other people's fridges and press’s .....'Just to see if you can eat anything' 39. if someone complains of IBS, and you tell them to 'Quit eating Gluten'! 40. if you burst into ..'Tears of Relief'.. at the sight of the words .."GLUTEN FREE" ..stamped on the corner of a product. *Support summarization of posts, reply to the SENDER not the CELIAC List* Archives are at: Http://Listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?LIST=CELIAC