deri is always ready for a comeback. --- Tamar Raine <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > Deri, i love this version! lol! > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > http://www.zazzle.com/TamarMag* > Tamar Mag Raine > [log in to unmask] > www.cafepress.com/tamarmag > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > > ----- Original Message ---- > From: Deri James <[log in to unmask]> > To: [log in to unmask] > Sent: Monday, January 7, 2008 2:43:49 AM > Subject: Re: Liberals vs. Conservatives > > On Monday 07 January 2008 03:32:01 ken barber wrote: > > oh.... > > I suspect you didn't notice that I had re-written > the original story (after > first 3 paras) and was commenting that my version > was "not so funny"!! > > > Cheers > > Deri > > > > --- Deri James <[log in to unmask]> > wrote: > > > Not so funny!! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Humans originally existed as members of small > bands > > > of nomadic > > > hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the > > > mountains during the summer > > > and would go to the coast and live on fish and > > > lobster in the winter. > > > > > > The two most important events in all of history > were > > > the invention of beer > > > and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was > > > invented to get man to the > > > beer. These were the foundation of modern > > > civilization and together were > > > the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into > two > > > distinct subgroups: > > > > > > > > > 1. Liberals > > > 2. Conservatives. > > > > > > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and > that > > > was the beginning of > > > agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor > aluminum > > > can were invented yet, so > > > while our early humans were sitting around > waiting > > > for them to be invented, > > > they just stayed close to the brewery. That's > how > > > villages were formed. > > > > > > Some men spent their days tracking and killing > > > animals to B-B-Q at night > > > while they were drinking beer. Their favourite > > > hunting method was to burn the > > > prairie and wait for woolly mamoths to stampede > off > > > the cliffs. This was the > > > beginning of what is known as the Conservative > > > movement. > > > > > > Other men realised that if you cared for the > > > environment, looked after your > > > animals, and planted fields, you did not have to > > > chase over miles of prairie > > > to kill dangerous animals for food, the food was > > > right on your doorstep. This > > > was the start of the Liberal Movement. > > > > > > Although the fierce hunters enjoyed their life, > it > > > was lonely, days away from > > > their women, having to go further and further to > > > find a bit of prairie they > > > hadn't burned. But this was the way their > > > forefathers lived - this was "the > > > Conservative way". > > > > > > Meanwhile the liberal farmers soon discovered > that > > > if they all worked together > > > and cooperated with each other, each > specialising in > > > things they were good > > > at, they could provide more than enough food for > the > > > whole community. There > > > was a surplus, they could start to do art, > music, > > > dance. If one of their > > > community became sick or old, there was enough > food > > > for them to be looked > > > after. They chose a donkey as a symbol to show > that > > > even the lowliest & > > > dumbest creature was an important integral part > of > > > the community. > > > > > > A hunter who became injured or too old to hunt > lost > > > status, he either had to > > > beg for food, or sacrifice himself as bait to a > > > sabre tooth tiger so that the > > > clan could kill the tiger. He would then be > revered > > > as a "hero". > > > > > > Of course, eventually all the prairie had been > > > destroyed and the last woolly > > > mammoth was killed, the proud hunters had to > join > > > the liberals. You would be > > > wrong if you thought that was the end of the > > > Conservatives, no, you can still > > > see them, they're the ones who say "Why should I > pay > > > taxes to anyone > > > else.", "Right to bear arms", "Survival of the > > > fittest", "Clan/family/country > > > comes first - fiddle sticks to the rest.", > whilst > > > benefitting from a world > > > where only cooperation, altruism, and > consideration > > > is the only successful > > > pattern for long term survival. Oh, and they > still > > > hanker after the woolly > > > mammoth, but since they killed them all, the > > > elephant is the closest thing. > > > > > > Cheers > > > > > > Deri > > ----------------------- > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY > list, go here: > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy > > ----------------------- > > To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY > list, go here: > > http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy > > ____________________________________________________________________________________ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ ----------------------- To change your mail settings or leave the C-PALSY list, go here: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?SUBED1=c-palsy