Pat, I heard something similar some time ago, but it still makes me laugh, maybe because it's all pretty likely. JulieMelton visit me at www.heart-and-music.com Keep smiling! >From: Pat Ferguson <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: Echurch-USA The Electronic Church ><[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Noah in 2005 >Date: Tue, 25 Oct 2005 11:24:18 -0500 > >--=====================_11119234==.ALT >Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed > > > > Noah in 2005 > > > >In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the > >United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and > >over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. > >Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good > >humans." > >He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark > >before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." > > > >Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - > >but no completed Ark. > >"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?" > > > >"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a > >building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for >a > >sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood > >zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height > >limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. > > > >Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the > >future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to > >clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea > >would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. > >Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local >trees > >in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the > >environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! > > > >When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. > >They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They > >argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and > >inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. > > > >Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted >an > >environmental impact study on your proposed flood. > >I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission > >on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. > >Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most > >of the people who want to work. > > > >The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire >only > >Union workers with Ark-building experience. > >To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying > >to leave the country illegally with endangered species. > >So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to >finish > >this Ark." > > > >Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow > >stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean > >you're not going to destroy the world?" > >"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it." > > > > > > > >Larry Campbell > > > > > ><http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTFqODRtdXQ4BF9TAzMyOTc1MDIEX3MDOTY2ODgxNjkEcG9zAzEEc2VjA21haWwtZm9vdGVyBHNsawNmYw--/SIG=110oav78o/**http%3a//farechase.yahoo.com/>Yahoo! > >FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click. > >--=====================_11119234==.ALT >Content-Type: text/html; charset="us-ascii" > ><html> ><body> ><blockquote type=cite class=cite cite=""> ><dl> ><dd><font face="arial" size=2> Noah in >2005</i></font><font face="georgia" size=2><br><br> > ><dd>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the >United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked >and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.</i><br> > ><dd>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few >good humans."</i><br> > ><dd>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build >the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 >nights."</i><br><br> > ><dd>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his >yard - but no completed Ark.<br> > ><dd>"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where >is the Ark?"</i><br><br> > ><dd>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have >changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector >about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've >violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and >exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal >Board for a decision.</i><br><br> > ><dd>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for >the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, >to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the >sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.</i><br> > ><dd>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local >trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the >environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no >go!<br><br> > ><dd>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued >me.<br> > ><dd>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. >They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and >inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.<br><br> > ><dd>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd >conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.</i><br> > ><dd>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights >Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building >crew.<br> > ><dd>Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of >most of the people who want to work.<br><br> > ><dd>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire >only Union workers with Ark-building experience.<br> > ><dd>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm >trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.<br> > ><dd>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to >finish this Ark."</i><br><br> > ><dd>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow >stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You >mean you're not going to destroy the world?"<br> > ><dd>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to >it."<br> ></b></font><br> > ></dl><br><br> ><font face="Comic Sans MS" size=4 color="#FF7F00">Larry Campbell<br> ></font><br> ><br> ><a >href="http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTFqODRtdXQ4BF9TAzMyOTc1MDIEX3MDOTY2ODgxNjkEcG9zAzEEc2VjA21haWwtZm9vdGVyBHNsawNmYw--/SIG=110oav78o/**http%3a//farechase.yahoo.com/">Yahoo! >FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.</a> ></blockquote></body> ></html> > >--=====================_11119234==.ALT--