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I wanted to send this last night, but my brain was on
overload and I know I couldn't have expressed or put two words together
after seeing the movie. I cried from the minute the movie started
and never let up. I took a wad of Kleenex and practically used it
all.
First, let me try to explain some of my feelings.
When I left the theater I felt a mixture of sadness and anger. Anger
first at myself for having caused Christ so much pain. Anger at
myself for all my sins and transgressions and chastising myself for not
being a better person. As a Christian I know Christ died for my
sins. I know that by his stripes I am saved. This movie
has a way of punching you in the stomach and REINFORCING what we know is
the truth.
It was overkill on their part -- those that crucified
him. It was overkill on the part of those that scourged him and crucified
him. I must warn you that it is GRAPHICALLY DEPICTED. You
will see everything done to Jesus and it wrenches your heart and your
soul. I kept saying, "I'm so sorry, Jesus" throughout the
movie. I'm sure a few times I must have gasped out loud. I bit
my hand a few times too so I wouldn't cry outloud. The most
important feeling I had upon reflection was that I felt that it was only
me and Jesus. I was not aware of other people in the theater at
all. It was just the two of us in an encounter. Everything he
said, he said to me. That is the feeling that is foremost in this
movie. We have read his words in Scripture many times. But
this is different. It's you and Him. Alone. Together. It seems
like his eyes are looking straight into yours.
The sadness was for my sins. The sadness was
for the Blessed Mother and what she went through. We read about the
prophetess (I believe Anna?) who said to Mary that her heart would be
pierced by a sword. The lady playing Mary was perfect. She was
with Jesus all the way. At his trial. On the Via De La Rosa
(spelling) and at the cross. As a mother, we MIGHT think we can
imagine how she felt to see her son being crucified, but there's no
way. All you can do is watch her pain and suffering and not be able
to do a thing about it. All of the characters are huge. John
the beloved was with Mary the entire time. You can feel Peter's pain as he
realizes the word's of Jesus come true when he denies him. Judas's
betrayal and his remorse -- you don't hate him, you just feel sorry for
him and sad when he realizes what he has done. From Mary to Mary
Magdalene, to Pilate, and even the small parts such as Veronica wiping the
face of Jesus on his way to the cross was stunning and also Simon of
Cyrene helping him with the cross. There was not one line (there are in
subtitles) that was not Scripture based. Everything Jesus said you
could go directly to the Bible and find it. The sequence of his
Passion and the crucifixion were as described in the Bible. Not in
any movie I have seen or will ever see in the future so depicted the
suffering, humiliation, and love of Jesus for us. I won't tell you
how the movie is set up -- but just know that not the entire movie shows
ONLY the passion and crucifixion. There are flash backs to earlier
times in his life.
Now I know why I couldn't have written this last
night. I still feel a little shaky. As so many people have
said, you don't view this movie, you experience it. The movie
embraces you and you keep playing it over and over in your head and you
just want to get on your knees in gratitude, sorrow for your sins, and
plead to Jesus that those we love who don't know Jesus will come to Him.
But most of all, I pray that I MYSELF WILL BECOME A BETTER PERSON. I
truly hope you see this movie.
Also, if you have a chance to see it, there is "The
Making of the Passion of the Christ" on PAX channel, #18. I'm sure they
will be showing it everynight. Unless you have pre-bought tickets,
they are sold out for the movie for a few days so you will have a chance
to get an idea about the movie on PAX. I encourage you to see
it. It helped prepare me and Doug!
May the Sacred Heart of Jesus forever dwell within your
heart. Love,
Natalie
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