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My dear sister jabou Do not be afraid to remarry!!not all men are like that just make sure the man is not a gold digger ( it happens on both sides too) sometimes ,men will always be men unfortunately that is a fact of like it is human nature . ?? I do not know but actual data leads me to think so at times. some men pretend to be perfect just to impress their wife. but alas. I know this american man who for all his married life had another "friend" right here in Dc just miles from his wife's home . he always told his wife he was on a secret government mission -worked for the FBI -i knew later after his wife died- |
I was equally shocked to find out that he had another child whom he was also bring up as his child . the only difference was that his "friend" knew he was married . This man is an icon in Dc and was a US diplomat who served in africa nad europe until his retirement
was he a bad man / No of course , imho
so as long as the partners understand the relationship there should not be any problems but that is easier said than done
for me it is not worth the headaches and the hide and seek. I would rather be honest than do that for my sanity.
habib
>From: Jabou Joh <[log in to unmask]> >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list <[log in to unmask]> >To: [log in to unmask] >Subject: Re: question/Habib >Date: Sat, 28 Feb 2004 13:04:14 EST > >You are right Habib, I am aware. I think that even the animists in Gambia do >infact marry more than one wife. Our Christian brothers at home also do >indulge in having partners on the side like most of the muslim brothers do even if >they have one wife as you mentioned. Then there is the issue of the U.S where >girl friends are kept in style by both officials and others as you mentioned. >There are infact many stories of men having two wives and two housholds right >here in the U.S, with the spouses not being aware of each other. >No wonder people like me are afraid to remarry. > >Jabou > >In a message dated 2/28/04 11:55:10 AM Central Standard Time, >[log in to unmask] writes: > > > > sister jabou > > > > polygamy is practiced by non muslims too- please take note > > > > I know many catholics in Nigeria who have more than one wife > > > > they marry one in the church and the others in the traditional way > > > > > > > > having said this many muslim men in the gambia who have one wife may have > > concubines which makes it polygamous > > > > No offense to any one - sometimes the truth hurts - > > > > in my opinion it happens in the USA unofficially for example > > > > many senators and congressmen have their wives in their home state and their > > girlfriends in Dc sometimes working for them as sectretaries or interns. > > > > > > > > polygamy can be official and unofficial - please note that too > > > > habib > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> > >> >From: Jabou Joh > >> >Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list > >> >To: [log in to unmask] > >> >Subject: Re: question/Ya-i-Mama Fatou > >> >Date: Sat, 28 Feb 2004 12:44:39 EST > >> > > >> >You may very well be right about lower figures but as I mentioned, I was > >> >really just venturing a wild guess. I was under the impression that not > >> marrying > >> >multiple wives is on the decline, but then I also find that people who > >> have > >> >had one wife all along are marrying second wives later in their years. > >> >I wonder if there are actual statistics compiled by the Gambia government. > >> It > >> >would be interesting to have actual figures compiled by regions if they > >> have > >> >looked into such things. > >> > > >> >Jabou > >> > > >> >In a message dated 2/28/04 8:12:52 AM Central Standard Time, > >> >[log in to unmask] writes: > >> > > >> > > >> > > I think that number is pretty high considering that younger generation > >> are > >> > > doing away with Polygamy these days. I know of very few if any in > >> their > >> > > twenties and thirties that have co-wives. I dont know about the people > >> living in > >> > > the provinces but I dont think Polygamy is practiced much in the > >> Greater > >> > > Banjul area any more. I might be wrong... > >> > > > >> > > Ya-i-Mam Fatou > >> > > > > > > > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >To Search in the Gambia-L archives, go to: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/CGI/wa.exe?S1=gambia-l >To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to: >[log in to unmask] > >To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface >at: http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/gambia-l.html > >~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~