Praying, Bro!  But, you know me, I've got to comment on something. <grin>
So I'll comment on this part of what you wrote to Carol:

> Part of my shame is what a lousy witness I am in all of this to let
> stuff happen without seeing it coming.

Yep, that's just what the enemy would love for you to do:  get on a shame
and guilt trip for being human!  I don't know the specifics;  maybe you
should have been able to see it coming.  Even if that's the case, so what?
You made a mistake?  Trust me, we all have.  Your real witness will be in
how you handle it now, how you trust the Lord to get you through.  Cause
I can pretty much guarantee the people watching your witness have made their
share of mistakes, too.  Probably had a few financial crises of their own,
and maybe resorted to some less-than-Godly ways out.  So ditch that shame;
now's the chance for your witness to shine!  And a chance for God's power
to be made manifest in your weakness.

God bless,
Roberta