<<Disclaimer: Verify this information before applying it to your situation.>> Dear all, Anyone out there want a gluten challenge buddy? Today I went to see a really nice and competent GI in San Francisco, and he told me that if I wanted to know for sure if I had celiac, I would have to challenge myself. Which of course I knew, but being there made it really time to choose. I know that many of you have gone through this before, the whole debate about whether or not you need the "gold standard" diagnosis of a positive biopsy, etc. etc. I don't like the idea of "making myself sick" on purpose, but I've decided that for me I do need to know for sure. Or at least try to make it until January eating gluten so the tests can be done, and see what they say. He says that if I feel bad during the challenge, the tests will most likely show it. And if for some reason I don't feel bad, and/or the tests don't show damage, well, I'll have that knowledge. Naturally if I start to get really sick before January I'll quit and that will be that. So I've begun to eat foods I haven't had in almost a year. I have realized that one of the reasons I've put off the challenge, besides the fear of being sick, is actually the fear of confirming that I can't have gluten at all anymore forever (or at least until they invent some magic pill). I think I denied a lot of the pain of giving up foods I liked just so I could function--at the time that was the only thing on my mind. And so it is only now that I'm really beginning to mourn for the loss of those pleasures. I'm sure I'll come to a new level of acceptance if it turns out I need to, and I'm also sure that if I do start to feel bad again, that feeling good will take priorit y over being able to eat anything. Anyway, I thought, since this might be an emotional experience, that if anyone is perhaps going through this at this time, we could share some feelings, symtoms, etc. Thanks, Jessica *Support summarization of posts, reply to the SENDER not the CELIAC List*