MR KNOW-ALL SHOUTS FOR HELP

By Baba Galleh Jallow

 

 

Rhinehart Soberlook peered hard at his computer screen. He loudly groaned and moaned and vigorously shook his head. No. He did not like what he saw. What were they trying to say? What did they mean by all this so-called Jahasay Enterprises and Busulu Forest or whatever they called it? Who was this so-called Jantaji they were trying to write about? And what was all this talk about Operation See All unit and spreading of so-called nets? Clearly, something was amiss somewhere and Mr. Know-All did not like it at all. No, not at all.

          In a state of great agitation Mr. Know-All paced up and down, back and forth, round and round his spacious sitting room, angry thoughts dancing in his fertile mind like so many grains of sand in a windstorm. Once in a while, he went back to his desk, had a sip of beer and peered at his screen.  He held his chin and sadly shook his head and groaned and moaned and said no, this couldn’t be. How could these uncouth blokes dare to poke fun at him? How dare they call him fool? The more he thought of it, the more angry he grew, until anger was pumping up his cheeks and making his prominent lips long and droopy and his fan-like ears even longer than usual. In a sudden blind fit of red fury, Rhinehart Soberlook flung himself on the floor and bitterly wept, and wept and called his distant mother over and over again, pulling at his hair and slapping his face to cool his temper.  He wept so hard that his eyelids grew swollen and heavy and did not want to open. He wept so hard he could not weep again and just lay there whimpering and sniffing.

          Rhinehart Soberlook stopped in his tracks as someone called his name. A few meters before him stood a small angry looking man who yelled at him. ‘So you think you can fight me?’ the small man yelled, shaking his fist angrily at the amazed Mr. Know-All. ‘So you threatened to fix me! Come on, here I am!’

‘Who are you?’ Mr. Know-All angrily spat back. ‘So you are that country brat trying to poke fun at me ha? I will deal with you!’

‘To hell with you!’ the small guy retorted. ‘Just take one step forward and I shall put you in your place!’

‘What?’ Mr. Know-All yelled. ‘Do you know who I am? Are you in your right senses? Better get out of my way before I deal severely with you!’ he roared, his iron temper shooting like a rocket into the skies of his lion heart, his angry nostrils flaring.

‘Who gives a damn who the hell you are, fool!’ the small guy retorted and before Mr. Know-All could say another word, he felt a stinging blow to his eyes and reeled painfully back with a frightened yell. In another flash, the vicious small guy was at his throat, strangling him to death. Mustering all his energy, the helpless Mr. Know-All opened his mouth and shouted at the top of his voice. Suddenly, he felt a loud crash and scramble and a multiplicity of voices. Coming to his senses, the gallant Rhinehart Soberlook realized that it had all been a very bad dream. Some members of his staff were crowded around him wondering what was wrong. But ha! Let that puny little country pimp dare to cross his path in real life!!