Yvonne, I don't think of, not the trial by fire, as being naive. Innocent is better. I find friends are people who will place you ahead of them - even if they are busy, or having a bad time - they can still put it aside and be there for you. This is toughie and with a little luck you may find a person or two in your entire life like this. I have a friend Cathy - she has Turners, and we have been friends for 24 years, and I know that she and her husband will be there regardless - Wild horses couldn't have kept me away when Joe had cancer and was in the hosiptal, and I offered to donate an egg for Cathy when she found out she couldn't have babies, hell I would have a damn baby her - if that's what she wanted. Conversely, she has stood by thru 3 marraiges and all the other socially unacceptable things I do. Its kinds sad as wonderful as Cathy is - when worked together - others made fun of her - becasue has Turners and is about 4'7" and she is genuninely good - and that always warrents ridicule too. Maybe the best way to find such a friend is to be such a friend. I am sorry you had to have this experience and were hurt. Wish you could have learned it in a much gentler fashion. Brightest Blessings and Hugs Trisha > You're not alone, Betty. I was naive too in our "Before Time". When the = > boys were diagnosed and everything in our lives started to crumble, = > friends and family with whom we had been very close suddenly stopped = > calling or returning our calls. I didn't see this coming. After all, we = > had been there for others so assumed they would be there for us. In our = > sleep-deprived, shell-shocked, grief-ridden state it took us a while to = > catch on, so we actually called people to beg for some help - minimal = > response...=20 >