In a message dated 02/12/2000 10:04:26 PM Eastern Standard Time, [log in to unmask] writes: << I just don't like being lumped with those who like to abuse the system and let everyone in the world feel sorry for them. >> I agree -- that bothers me too. I guess I'm a little defensive since I can't work now. I keep reminding myself that I pushed it to the max until I just couldn't go on, but that my work ethic hasn't changed. I still do what I am able to do. Now it's just in different ways, and the things I do are not as obvious to the casual observer. It hurts to be excluded and misunderstood and I'm not going to pretend it doesn't. I can make choices about what to do with the hurt -- I mean whether my response is going to be that of a mature adult or that of an undisciplined child. But I'm not going to pretend that I don't have a normal emotional reaction when somebody hurts my feelings. That's something that is often expected of us. If somebody poops all over us we're supposed to act like it's okay and it doesn't bother us. There is no reward in being patted on the head for smiling while you are being abused in some way. It seems to me that if we accommodate that expectation we're just contributing to the problem. We're really enabling society or an individual person -- as the case may be -- to do more pooping. And the next pooping may be on someone else -- it ain't just about little old me. I am reminded again of the title of Judge Judy's book, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining." Crude but effective, eh? Betty