Trisha Cummings <[log in to unmask]> wrote: [snip] There have been an awful lot of posts recently on parenting and smacking, and whereas I have never felt the need to practice it on my children, I do not think it is such a "big thing". What is important is that you are always consistent. That the punishment you "threaten" is always carry out. There is no point at all in threatening a punishment which you (and the child) knows you will not carry out. I have heard Mother's say "If you do that again Santa will bring no toys this Xmas" (this in August), and the kid just grins and does it anyway because he "knows" the threat is inappropriate and will not happen. If the child knows that the punishment for a certain behaviour is a slap on the legs, then a slap on the legs should be what is received - there should be no anger. I was smacked several times at school, slippers, hairbrush, ruler, cane, were all used at different times, but I always "knew" that would be the result (if I got caught!) so to me it seemed fair. To state that smacking (or lack of it) is somehow related to IQ is rather strange, as if a high IQ makes someone less violent. There is one thing which I really would like your input on with regard to parenting, I'd love to know how you lot cope with the following:- As a parent it is our job to make sure our kids come to no physical harm. I often see Dad's "hovering" underneath climbing frames, trees, etc. while little Johnny is doing a fearless Tarzan act. Now, due to my disability, I am unlikely to be able to do this safety net job. If little Johnny falls out of the tree one of three things could happen:- I could miss Johnny completely. I could miss Johnny completely, lose my balance and fall on top of him with 10 stone. I could miss Johnny completely, lose my balance and fall on Frankie (someone elses little boy - and His Dad's a lot bigger than me!!) For this reason I have always told my kids that I will not catch them if they fall. Even such things as walking along the top of a low wall where they wan't someone to hold their hand for balance, I refused. I did not forbid such "dangerous" activities just that they were on their "own". This has had interesting effects:- Initially they were very conservative in what they would attempt. They soon exceeded their peers in hand/eye coordination. They all have a very strong sense of independence based on their confidence in being able to handle situations on their own. Just wondered if any other CP parents had similar situations. I suppose the same situation applies in reverse to the parents of CPers on the list:- When do you remove that safety net? I remember my Mum saying that when I was 8 or 9 she'd see me in the back garden trying to climb the garden fence after my sister and all her friends into the orchard next door, and knowing that even if I got to the top my technique for getting down was just to let go. Rather than rush out and lift me over she go away from the window and start dusting, one ear straining for the sound that signalled I had managed to hit the clump of nettles that always acted like a magnet. I really admired her for that. -- Deri James