Thanks!

----------
> From: I. STEPHEN MARGOLIS <[log in to unmask]>
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Embarrassing CP quirks
> Date: Monday, 8 February 1999 14:59
>
> Why embarrassed with these quirks
> these shumbling CP hurky-jerks?
>
> Hi Fiona,
>
> Thanks for your interesting post.
>
> Regarding anger, laughter, and other emotions, I offer my opinion without
> benefit of formal medical, psychological, or other kindred expertise.
>
> Thus, my perspective as a 58th year CP man, middle class and moderately
> educated.  At this advanced age life finds me going through change and
> reappraisal.  I'm reconsidering my beliefs, assumptions, and CP identity
as
> derived from the malarkey and BS that doctors, scientists, and other well
> intended, dubiously witted, short sighted and money driven specialists
push
> and publish upon the rest of us.  Clergy, teachers, parents, usually
parrot
> kindred bromides which disguise and undermine what often remains
unexplored
> about our best nature.  I will try, however linguistically brainwashed,
to
> avoid the indecipherable argot which veils ignorance behind "specialist"
> jargon.
>
> As you may well observe, Fiona, long after Eden, we varied adults still
> sport our fig leaves.  Our most difficult problems arise innately,
> "structurally," from our being human: that strong emotions, senses, and
> thoughts inform us and compel our actions.
>
> The human condition includes lifelong questions which occasionally yield
> acceptable, often less than adequate and compromising, and ever changing
> answers.
>
> If you read any of Bobby Greer's or Vikki A. Stefans' recent posts,
> primarily to the CP Dystonia list, they attempt to convey a range of the
> definitions and distinctions, including historical offerings, which
doctors
> and scientists are compiling on our (or is it their own?) behalf. I find
> Bobby and Vikki to be brilliant, superbly educated and experienced, well
> intentioned folks.  Their efforts to share their knowledge warrants
> appreciation.
>
> Yet their efforts make me laugh, seem absurdist  What I find "laughable"
is
> the gap from what the definitions portend to their translation into
useful
> matters and means that improve my life, day to day.
>
> What I find lacking and harmful in assumptions about CP, and this may
more
> reflect my own bias and ignorance, is a dynamic, brain function based,
> neurologic presentation of CP, one which better explains what questions
you
> raise regarding emotions or better reflects the rather dramatic adverse
> changes in the range of abilities and health that Mag or Denise or Kyle
or
> others or I have been experiencing.
>
> The matters you raise are not unique.  I've had anger, laughter,
> physio-emotional response issues all my life.  It's taken most of my life
to
> "sort out."  Things still happen unexpectedly, sometimes from joy and
> surprise, often unwanted.
>
> Controlling temper and putting matters in or keeping perspective takes
> practice, a lifetime's worth.  The tasks seem enormous when there's so
much
> to be angry about, much frustration in not being able to do for
ourselves,
> dependence on other people who usually don't do things quite right or
don't
> quite "get it."
>
> Some of us are more predisposed to anger.  Some of us have to live with,
> cannot readily change, conditions and situations which invoke anger.
What's
> tough to see in the CP experience is how typically predisposition and
> situations stir anger in any person, i.e., it's not the "CP," it's being
> human.
>
> I don't imply that CP doesn't play a role or take it's toll.  I'd be in
deep
> denial to assert CP doesn't matter.  To me CP probably behavior in ways
> still misperceived and inadequately evaluated.  We with CP are aware, if
> understated, of its daily presence and impact.
>
> CP's have "balance" and "control" problems that come from organic brain
> damage.  Our emotional and physical actions and responses have to be
> "recircuited" through healthy functioning brain regions.  These areas do
the
> "extra" work of conducting "normal" functions and carrying the "duties"
of
> the injured parts while the injured parts may partially or erratically
send
> diminished or flawed signals, if at all.  Has there yet been adequate
> analysis of the impact of the signals on the central nervous system, the
> ordering and control of the total body dynamic and personality
development?
> Not that I've ever heard.
>
> The injured brain and diverted pathways may contribute to emotions
> experienced or expressed erratically, excessively, or in ways divergent
with
> social or physical norms.  In other words, we don't usually look, move or
> sound like nondisabled people in similar circumstances.  Yet we know that
> whatever our differences we're not abnormal.  What I love about Mariana
> Ruybalid's poetry: her powerful refusal to gloss reality.  She insists on
> her personhood and womanhood no matter her degrees of tilt from the
> perpendicular, wields her wondrous beautiful awesome razored language.
> Learn from Mariana, Fiona.
>
> Given intelligence and ability we are responsible for our actions and
> reactions to others and our environment.  A wise man has written
> that people generally in any given social setting are likely to be rude,
> crude, and indifferent.  They regard others in terms of their own self
> interest.  If everybody usually functions similarly we can begin to
> constrain anger when we realize someone else's behavior is not directed
> towards us in a personal endangering manner.  This gives opportunity to
> distinguish what is dangerous, what is normally irritating, and promote
> constructive behavior.
>
> My sense, Fiona, is that you really don't get angry over nothing.
> Something, however trivial or trifling, irritates and angers you,
frustrates
> you, or raises your stress level to a point of anger or rage.
>
> The irony about being human is that trifles and trivia usually upset and
> anger us more than the Big Issues or truly dangerous situations.  Since
> irritations are normal in daily life we need to learn the effective ways
of
> handling what's normal.  Give yourself credit, Fiona. You noticed that
your
> current reactions are not providing satisfactory results.  By so noticing
> and sharing with us you've allowed yourself to develop another point of
> view.  You've set yourself on the path to change your behavior, a
tremendous
> achievement.
>
> Some techniques and awareness involve "spotting" anger and redirecting
> toward getting a desired result or letting the anger go.  The matter to
be
> realized is that you choose behaviors, actions, and reactions.  Don't
deny
> your anger, express it, use it appropriately in a mature reasonable
manner.
> If you loose control and tip into rage, ok, make amends, acknowledge
you'll
> try to do differently next time.  Keep becoming aware of the differences
> between rage and controlled, merited, directed anger.
>
> As for being stressed and overwhelmed by the need to plan.  Look gal,
give
> yourself a break.  Do things in smaller segments.  Let others help you.
You
> wouldn't try to get a pound of steak down in one gulp.  Even God, with
all
> the tools available to Great Powers, took six days and one of rest to
paste
> together the Universe as we know it.  He may have been His Own Boss, but
He
> was His Own Chief Steward, Who imposed limits on His work day.
>
> More reasonable expectations yield better results.  You really don't need
to
> worry out every nugget in advance.  Most important things in life happen
> without exhaustive effort.  Most of what needs to get done does.  If you
> worry or try to control too much you may need to address fear, lack of
> experience, lack of self assurance.  If you've got OCD or other
dysfunction
> then meds and therapy may be useful.
>
> The pressure and anxiety of anger and laughter in social settings eases
with
> experience, and maturity. As we age we grow into ourselves.  Our
reactions
> and sensitivities to what we believe others want of us ease and we become
> more self assured and secure, more centered on our priorities and
purposes.
> As we age and mature we grow more into our own acceptance of ourselves.
>
> I went through years of stifling laughter at funerals and not being able
to
> release in occupied men's rooms without secluding in a stall and hoping
for
> the best.  Now I cry at funerals, usually.  And these days I desperately
> inch towards a men's room praying the urge won't prematurely surge.
>
> And yes I more times control or don't experience anger as I used to.
While
> I find it easier to stop my laughter, and often laugh less, I'm more
amused
> at much more often.
>
> Hugs.
>
> [;s>
>
>
>
> Date:    Sat, 6 Feb 1999 17:40:25 +1100
> From:    "B.GIVEN" <[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Embarrassing CP quirks
>
> I don't post on this list very often.
>
> I was wondering if any of you have difficulty controlling your temper and
> putting things into perspective?
>
> I blow up over nothing. I get so stressed over planning things because I
am
> so dependant on other people.
>
> I was also wondering if any of you have trouble controlling your
laughter?
>
> Thanks,
>
> Fiona