Hi Asdis, Well, your message has temporarily propelled me out of lurkdom.
What you wrote struck a chord with me as it is what I am struggling with at
the moment - especially with my thirtieth birthday coming up in February.
I have never had any kind of intimate (emontional and/or physical)
relationship with a man with the exception of a 11 month `one night stand'
several years ago which was just sex (and not much of that!). And like
yourself, the prospect of being alone for the rest of my life is not a
happy one. I don't have any useful advice or `magic tip' unfortunately -
believe me if I did, I would have been posting it all over this list at
least!!!! I know from my own experience that there is very little that can
be said to ease the pain of this very important lack, all I can do is say
- you are not alone in this, and tell you a few things that I have realised
about all this. If we are unwillingly single, that does not mean we are
not good enough or not desirable enough for others to want. Relationships
seem to be a matter of luck - just because we are good people with a lot to
give that does not mean we will get what we deserve, on the other hand, we
just might find someone who is right for us. If men reject us (and women
for others) because of our disabilities - then it is their loss, and their
weakness - not ours. I think it is better to be single rather than settle
for less than we deserve - but that still does nothing for the pain. I
have many nights of crying myself to sleep because of all this, but somehow
keep going even though part of me would like to not cope and tell the world
that denying us this part of life is wrong and cruel. Asdis, I am sorry
that I cannot say anything useful except that I wish that you and I and
everyone who is going through this do eventually find what we are looking
for. All my best wishes - Rayna PS I know I've been very quiet on the
list lately but I've been so busy, running monthly information/social
forums for women with disabilities (no hope of meeting men there!!) and
working on developing a non-profit organisation for women with disabilities
here in WA. Also study, and trying to work on my physical fitness and
find a way to cope with the increasing pain in my arms, hands and fingers.
But I still read the list!
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