The following article from Newsday describes an extraordinary
relationship between two who are deaf blind.  It is a living monument to
us all on how we can live our lives.

Kelly


IN TOUCH WITH EACH OTHER
BOB AND MICHELLE SMITHDAS, BOTH BLIND AND DEAF, LEAD LIVES FULL OF LOVE,
WORK, HOBBIES AND HUMOR

By Ellen Mitchell
Ellen Mitchell is a freelance writer

November 6, 2001

I only know that when I touch a flower,

or feel the sun and wind upon my face,

or hold your hand in mine, there is a brightness

within my soul that words can never trace.

I call it Life, and laugh with its delight,

though life itself be out of sound and sight.

THE WORDS are from "Shared Beauty," a poem written by Robert J. Smithdas
and
dedicated to his wife, Michelle Joanne Smithdas. The Smithdases are both
deaf-blind. They have never seen one another, nor had either heard the
other's voice until 1993, when Michelle underwent a cochlear implant and
now
is able to hear some sound.

To say the couple is extraordinary is to say the sky is little more than
a
backdrop for the sun, the stars and the moon.

He is an author, poet, lecturer, teacher, advocate for the deaf-blind,
deep-sea fisherman, gardener, art collector and gourmet cook ... for
starters.

She is a teacher, writer, advocate for the deaf-blind, lecturer, exercise
buff and cake baker.

Both hold bachelor's and master's degrees. Both are recipients of
honorary
doctorates and numerous awards for their work in the training and
rehabilitation of the deaf-blind.

Bob Smithdas is the director of community education at the Helen Keller
National Center for Deaf-Blind Youths and Adults in Sands Point. As part
of
his mission to raise community awareness of what the deaf-blind can do
when
given the proper opportunities, he gives lectures, arranges tours of the
center and edits a national newsletter. Michelle Smithdas is an
instructor
at
the center; she teaches deaf-blind Braille, vocabulary, sign language and
other communications skills. She is writing an instructional Braille book
for
the deaf-blind, because most Braille books are geared to the blind only.

The couple lives a relatively self-sufficient life at their Port
Washington
home. They travel extensively and enjoy a social circle that includes not
only the deaf-blind, but sighted and hearing friends as well.

Their mission is to teach the deaf-blind to live and work to the best of
their capabilities and as independently as possible, and the way in which
they have overcome adversity in their own lives is the best lesson they
can
offer. The fact that both have but three of the five senses that most of
us
take for granted each day is a remarkable testament to the resilience of
the
human spirit.

When I was a child, I used to stand

with a broken mirror in my hand

watching my laughing image pass

in and out of the shining glass.

If I could hold it here once more

and look into it as before,

I wonder if I still would see

a faint resemblance of Me?

- from "Mirror," by Robert J. Smithdas

Bob Smithdas, 76, was born near Pittsburgh. When asked his age, he
responded
with his signature dry wit.

"I usually say I'm 1,000 years old. It seems to please people."

He lost his vision and most of his hearing at the age of 4, when he
contracted cerebrospinal meningitis; his hearing regressed to the point
that
he was totally deaf by his mid-teens.

"Unable to hear the sound of my own voice, I gradually lost my feeling
for
the pitch and stresses that give speech its human character," he wrote in
his
1958 autobiography, "Life at My Fingertips." Any difficulties with speech
have never been a deterrent to his amazing success. He articulates each
word
precisely and lectures extensively before audiences nationwide.

Bob Smithdas learned Braille and by his teens was an avid reader who
"finished three or four books in a weekend." At 12, he began to write
"not
very good poetry, just rhymes," he said. He is a member of the Poetry
Society
of America, and was honored as their poet of the year in 1960. He learned
to
communicate through POP, the print on palm method of printing block
letters
on the palm of the hand. He is one of few deaf-blind persons skilled in
the
use of Tadoma, which enables him to place his right thumb on the lips of
the
speaker and his fingers over the vocal chords to interpret what is being
said.

With the assistance of sighted, hearing friends who attended class with
him
and transcribed all his textbooks into Braille, Smithdas graduated cum
laude
from St. John's University in 1950. He was the first deaf-blind person to
earn a college degree after Helen Keller. In 1953, he became the first
deaf-blind person ever to earn a master's degree, which he completed at
New
York University in the field of vocational guidance and rehabilitation of
the
handicapped.

Michelle Smithdas was born in California. She was born with limited
hearing
and was profoundly deaf by the age of 16. During the midwinter holiday of
her
senior year at Gallaudet University in Washington, D.C., the world's only
university for the deaf, Michelle suffered a snowmobile accident, which
resulted in head injuries and her loss of vision.

"It was devastating at that time and at that age," she said.

Despite the tragic turn in her life, she completed her bachelor's degree.
(Some years later, she became the first deaf-blind person to receive a
master's degree at an Ivy League university, earning a master's in
education
of blind and visually impaired at Columbia.) In 1972, she entered the
training program at the Helen Keller National Center on Long Island,
where
Bob Smithdas was already the director of community education.

Oh, when I reach to take you by the hand,

it is because I need to understand

that I am not alone in this broad land.

- from "Touch," by Robert J. Smithdas

"On my first day, I met Bob in the dark hallway. Most say love at first
sight, but for us it was love at first bump in the dark. He was so good
to
make sure I did not fall down," Michelle Smithdas said. The couple was
married on Dec. 13, 1975.

"I would say my husband is very handsome. He is very strong and very
intelligent. I am not totally blind," she added, " so I can sometimes
catch
parts of him with my little bit of vision. I put the parts together like
a
puzzle."

"I cannot describe my wife on a visual basis," Bob Smithdas said. "But
she
is
very sweet, a lot of fun. She is petite and delicate and when she laughs
she
has a big smile. I go by my feelings, and they are strong for Michelle."

The couple communicates by finger spelling their words, letter by letter,
in
the palm of the other's hand.

They delight in one another as if they were newlyweds. She often defers
to
him.

"It's very important that you listen to Bob," she said.

"Now you realize that she is a good wife," he said.

The couple has no children.

"No," Michelle Smithdas, 53, said. "Bob is enough. He is a big child."

Who does the cooking?

"Bob cooks most of the time. He loves it and he is an excellent cook,"
she
said.

"Yes, I must be good. No one has died from my cooking," he said. A
Polynesian
chicken dish is his favorite. He also enjoys cooking Italian, Czech,
Chinese
and German foods.

"I could write a cookbook, I guess," he acknowledged.

Friends and neighbors assist with food shopping and transportation.

"I take them to the doctor," said Lynn Dallesandro, who stopped by to
visit.
She first met the Smithdases when she worked as a volunteer at the Helen
Keller center in 1976. She is a nurse and able to explain things to the
couple during doctor's visits.

"We've become very good friends; they are awesome," said Dallesandro, who
learned to finger spell in order to communicate with them.

Her communication skills served well last year when Bob Smithdas
underwent
quadruple coronary bypass surgery. It has not slowed him down.

"Bob is an ox," said Joseph McNulty, executive director of the center.
"The
other day, there was a freezer delivered to their house. Because the
deliveryman couldn't communicate with Bob, he left the freezer in the
garage.
Bob went back there and moved the thing into the house by himself."

Bob Smithdas was a wrestler in college. He now enjoys swimming and
walking.

"And I squeeze Michelle for exercise," he joked. He also does a lot of
bending in the garden.

"That reminds me, I have 50 bulbs to plant," he said.

His other interests include tinkering with old cars, the stock market and
deep sea fishing. He recalls with fondness the 90-pound tuna he caught
years
back.

Michelle Smithdas is an exercise enthusiast. She keeps a rowing machine
and
a
stationary bike at home and watches her weight on a Braille scale.

The house in which the Smithdases have lived for 24 years is replete with
computer technology. Their telephone takes typewritten input and provides
Braille output, as does Michelle's computer. The couple wears pagers,
which
vibrate differently for the telephone, the doorbell or when one asks the
other, "Where are you?" The stove and microwave have raised buttons to
indicate temperature settings. Bob carries a sensor that vibrates to
indicate
an object ahead. They have vibrating sensors to indicate if the lights
are
on, to tell when to stop pouring liquid into a cup, and to recognize the
denomination of bills. As part of Bob Smithdas' job at the center, he
makes
devices like these accessible to clients. He loves tinkering with
gadgets,
and is constantly working to improve on them.

Perhaps the most dramatic technological change in the couple's lives has
been
the cochlear implant that Michelle Smithdas underwent in 1993. The device
communicates some sound to the brain through electrodes in the middle
ear.

"When I decided to try it, there was controversy between the deaf culture
people and those going for the cochlear implants," she explained. "I was
afraid some of those in the deaf culture would not continue to be my
friends.
Some people say you should accept what you were given by God, but I feel
God
wants an individual to use the advances in technology. Being a deaf-blind
person can be quite isolating. You can only imagine what it is like to be
sitting in a room, not seeing anybody, nobody stopping by and nobody
calling
on the telephone. So I decided to give it a try ... and it is wonderful."

While supportive of his wife's decision to undergo the procedure, Bob
Smithdas has never taken tests to determine if he could be similarly
helped.

"No, I was pretty well seasoned in my own way of life. I didn't see the
urgency in the cochlear implant," he said.

Always the small beginnings of great things:

always the pioneer who breaks the trail

across uncharted reaches of the mind

or through a trackless wilderness unknown.

- from "Helen Keller's Legacy"

by Robert J. Smithdas

An acquaintance of the Smithdases wrote a movie script some time ago that
features the couple's lives and work and the level of achievement the
deaf-
blind can reach. Bob Smithdas hopes the money needed to produce the film
can
be raised.

"They've produced 'The Miracle Worker' over and over again. But, it's not
telling the story of how the deaf-blind succeed today. It's important to
know
how we live in a modern environment. We feel blocked by the shadow of
Helen
Keller," he said.

"Many deaf-blind have gone on to college. They are teachers, computer
programmers and other types of specialists. A friend of mine is a
mathematical whiz and owns his own computer business."

According to McNulty, the Helen Keller National Center is unique in this
country. It focuses on clients' abilities rather than on the fact that
they
are deaf and blind.

There are usually 40 students at a time; their length of stay usually
ranges
between several months and a year depending on their particular needs.

There has not been a nationwide count of deaf- blind persons since the
1970s,
when it was between 50,000 and 70,000 individuals.

"And that was well before the graying of America," said McNulty. "We are
trying to develop a national registry."

The Helen Keller center exists in large part because Bob Smithdas went to
Washington, D.C., in 1967 and helped obtain federal funds. He testified
that
without sight or hearing a person could still achieve great heights ...
he
served as the perfect example. A temporary facility was opened in New
Hyde
Park in 1969.

At a gala fund-raiser tomorrow, Bob Smithdas will be presented with a
lifetime achievement award. The event will mark the 25th anniversary of
the
opening of the Helen Keller National Center at its current site in Sands
Point. The presenter will be Barbara Walters, who first interviewed Bob
Smithdas more than 25 years ago and describes him as "the most memorable
person I have ever interviewed." Walters interviewed the couple together
in
1998.

In the November 2001 issue of Ladies Home Journal, Walters named Michelle
Smithdas as "the most empowering woman" she's ever met.

"I never knew I was married to such a powerful woman," Bob Smithdas said,
laughing, as he offered his arm to Michelle and the couple walked out
together into the radiant glow of a warm, autumn afternoon. They couldn't
see
it, but, no matter, they seemed to have eyes only for each other.

Ellen Mitchell is a freelance writer. She wishes to acknowledge the kind
assistance of Sue Ruzenski, director of the direct service program at the
Helen Keller center, and John Mascia, director of field services, for
their
interpretive expertise.
Copyright


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