Warning!!!!!

Peter and Dunbar

>From: "Brian Gordon" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: "ODNet" <[log in to unmask]>
>Subject: [odnet] Fw:  VIRUS ALERT
>Date: Mon, 3 May 1999 07:53:36 -0700
>Sender: [log in to unmask]
>
>A little humour for the day, after all the real virus alerts...
>
>
>
>>> VIRUS ALERT
>>>
>>> If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes" delete it immediately.
>>Do not open it.  Apparently this one is pretty nasty.  It will not only
>>> erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on
>>> disks within 20 feet of your computer.  It demagnetizes the stripes on
>ALL
>>> of your credit cards.  It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up
>>the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch
>>any CD's you attempt to play.
>>>
>>> It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all
>>your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.  It will program your phone
>>> auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's number.  This virus will mix
>>> antifreeze into your fish tank.  It will leave dirty socks on the
>>> coffee table when you are expecting company.  Its radioactive emissions
>>will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some)
>>to migrate behind your ears.
>>>
>>> It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine,
>>all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
>>billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.  It will cause you to run
>>> with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone
>>> loses an eye.  It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.  It will
>>> rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive
>tense
>>and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change the
>>> interpretations of key sentences.
>>>
>>> If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95 or 98
>>environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer
>plugged
>>in dangerously close to a full bathtub.  It will not only remove the
>>> forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also
>>> refill your skim milk with whole milk.  It will replace all your luncheon
>>> meat with beef tongue.
>>>
>>> It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to
>>> smell like dill pickles.  It is insidious and subtle.  It is
>>dangerous and terrifying to behold.  It is also a rather interesting shade
>of
>>mauve.
>>>
>>> These are just a few signs of infection.
>>>
>>> PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!!
>>>
>>> Then lighten up and get a life.
>>>
>>
>[log in to unmask]
>Live To Learn
>www.livetolearn.com
>
>
>
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