Sheryl, thank you for these helpful words.  In hopes to overcome by
bulimarexia, i turned to paleo because it makes the most sense in the world
to me.  i do need support though, or sometimes i lose my footing and
question myself and decisions.  thanks again.

sheena


Sheryl wrote:

>>I don't know how well my experience translates to others, but I will share
>>it
>in case it's of use to somebody.  I have struggled with my weight my whole
>life.  I'm not very overweight--just a moderate amount.  My weight goes up
>and down, but usually averages out to about 142.  I'm 5'6" (actually, 5'
>5-1/2").  At 142 I'm about 28-30% body fat and look a little chunky.  The
>lowest I've been is 128.  That is a perfect weight for me--I looked great.
>I
>was probably 22% body fat at that weight.  The last time I weighed myself I
>was about 148-149 and 32% body fat.  The most I've ever weighed is
>157--that
>was almost 20 years ago.  The most I've weighed recently was 152, about 4
>years ago.  Until about a year ago I'd stabilized at about 137.  I gained
>10-12 pounds after going on a restrictive diet to cure my
>colitus--restrictive diets cause me to overeat in response to the
>restriction.
>
>I've found I gain weight for two reasons (1) low blood sugar, or (2) eating
>when I'm not hungry (defined as "compulsive eating").  Low blood sugar
>causes
>me to overeat because it makes me feel ravenous, and I will eat more than
>my
>body needs just to raise my blood sugar.  The paleo diet has just about
>eliminated this problem.  My blood sugar is rock solid.  I no longer have
>to
>eat every 2-3 hours.  What freedom!!
>
>I'm currently working on the compulsive eating problem--eating because I'm
>bored, nervous, lonely, scared, the food tastes good, the food is in front
>of
>me, I haven't cleaned my plate, I want to avoid work, etc.  There is also
>an
>issue about ambivalence in being thin--you'd be surprised at how often this
>is an issue for women in Western culture.  There is a part of us that
>rebels
>at being put in the sex object box--that we're not okay unless we're thin.
>Sometimes it feels safer to have some fat on you.  If you think about it,
>you
>may find this is true for you, too.
>
>If we become used to eating for reasons other than physical hunger, we can
>lose touch with our body's hunger signals.  Eating in response to physical
>hunger actually can become a little tricky.  Also, we need to learn new
>coping mechanisms for the emotions that we calmed in the past by eating.
>And
>we need to look at our ambivalence about being thin.  Have you ever had the
>experience of losing weight without really thinking about it, stepping on
>the
>scale and noticing the loss, and then instantly gaining it back?  This has
>happened to me many times, and it's due to ambivalence about being thin.
>Maybe this is what happened to you when you regained the 6 pounds.
>
>I believe that we would be much better off if we focussed on learning to
>respond to our body's needs for food in an appropriate way, versus trying
>to
>lose weight.  There is nothing inherently wrong with carrying some extra
>fat.
>  Big deal!!  In some cultures and in some times, it was considered
>beautiful.
>  Also, medical science is now realizing that the link between fat and poor
>health is not causal--they are correlated only because fat people tend not
>to
>exercise.  But you can be fat AND fit, and then (unless you are extremely
>obese), there are no health implications to carrying the extra fat.  This
>is
>Western prejudice!  Forget about it!!
>
>In any case, for me, trying to lose weight never works.  If I'm hating my
>body and feeling ugly and fat, it just makes me want to eat more.  If I
>tell
>myself I'm fine now and I'm just going to learn to respond to my body's
>physical needs, my eating habits calm down.  The nervous eating goes away,
>and my body starts to return to its natural weight without any effort on my
>part.
>
>Some people will tell you that you're gaining weight because you're
>snacking
>on nuts, fruit, and pork rinds.  These are calorie dense foods, but I don't
>think there is anything wrong with eating these foods or any foods.  If you
>are listening to your body and only eating in response to physical hunger,
>eating these foods will not cause you to gain weight.  Your body will tell
>you what it needs, but sometimes it's hard to distinguish between the true
>biological hunger signals, and the "emotional hunger" that has been driving
>us for so many years.  It CAN be done, however.  I've been doing much
>better
>with it.  I don't know whether I'm losing weight because stepping on the
>scale is bad for me--it puts me right back in the "bad body" frame of mind,
>focussing on weight loss rather than "good self-feeding"--but I imagine I
>am.
>  I haven't been eating very much.
>
>I very much believe in body wisdom--our biology will lead us to want what
>we
>need.  But to hear this inner voice, we have to quiet the other noise in
>our
>heads.  External rules about what to eat and when can be very destructive
>when they lead to feelings of deprivation.  That's why I'm only 90% paleo.
>I
>cheat without guilt now and then, because otherwise I feel deprived.  But
>most days I'm 100% paleo because I choose to be--it makes me feel good.
>The
>wonderful affect on my blood sugar is not lost on me, so I'm motivated to
>keep eating this way.  Also, my bowels are in terrific shape--I have not
>been
>this healthy since I first was diagnosed with ulcerative colitus 20 years
>ago.  It's very easy to follow a diet out of choice--because it makes me
>feel
>good--versus because I think I'm fat and ugly and need to lose weight.
>
>      - Sheryl


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