Scott & Deb Millard wrote:
>
> This is all real new to me, as I am still on an elimination diet right
> now.  As far we know I am allergic to milk, soy and yeast.
>
> I just wondered how you all handle this emotionally. I mean it makes me
> really mad, it seems really unfair, and I keep denying that it's really
> true.  I don't want this, and I keep thinking if I wish it away hard
> enough, maybe it won't be true anymore.  I know I can live a pretty
> normal life without these foods, lots of people including you all do
> it.

Deb,

There is a very strong emotional issue to food, let alone the denial of
a certain group of foods.  I dealt with it many years ago for myself.
Married and had a child and gained a whole new group of allergies to
watch for.  Three weeks ago I got yet another group of allergens to
avoid when my youngest was finally tested.  I feel like I am about out
of foods to choose and have spent quite a bit of time just crying for
lack of anything better to do about the situation.

It does get better.  You learn what and how to eat again.  You learn to
deal with it, but you do need to grieve the loss too.  Vent if you need
to, scream from a mountain top if there is one nearby.  Just don't stand
in the grocery store aisles!  Try to find someone to talk to who will
understand at least part of the same loss.

Your life has changed forever.  You will find ways of still getting
together with friends, although it may be on different terms than you
are used to.  You will find places you can still go out to eat but you
will have to push the waiter for more information than you ever thought
you wanted to know until you know the place well.  Our society makes a
big public display of food and events where one is expected to eat in
public.  Just take them one at a time.

Make a list of what you CAN eat.  Include brand names whenever
possible.  Go to the store and try to add even more items.  Add strange
foods you have never even tried.  Now take this list and plan a week of
meals.  This will take the daily pressure off.  Try to continue to plan
weekly for as long as possible.  This same list can also be kept updated
and given to a friend who wants to invite you over.

Stock up on snacks you can eat.  Most of us do pretty well on meals, but
fall apart on snacking.  It is just too easy to grab something on your
way through the gas station when you are hungry and ill prepared.  Keep
an old purse in your car full of little snacks and keep your cupboard
similarly supplied.  You will thank yourself for it!

Lastly, give yourself the gift of time.  Time to heal, time to reflect,
time to dream up new recipes.  Your mind and your body need it!

--
Kathy Wentz                        unschooler, n. one who never swims
[log in to unmask]                   with the crowd