Friends, Shortly after I started drinking in all this wonderful
information and support on this list, our computer crashed and we lost
all data--unretrievable! Then I had surgery, and during my early
recovery, what did I miss doing? READING MY LIST MAIL!! Thanks to all
of you for such meaningful support...more help than any doctor or
nutritionist we have yet to meet! I've read all my list mail from the
last two weeks, and I feel up-to-date!! Great stuff.
Regarding all the emotional issues around dealing with the problems of
restricted diet: it seems to me that the people (especially women)who
are writing about the challenges of dealing with their children's diets,
(as I am) are more positive and "can-do" about it all. After the first
period of despair and feeling lost, you just make your lists, do your
research and move on to a new lifestyle. And often feel so great at our
successes for our children's sakes! For ourselves, though, there is no
one to do it for us...no one to "take care" when we are facing something
that sounds so unimportant and untraumatic to the outside world, that it
doesn't usually garner much sympathy or loving support. Maybe,
margarine brands and pizza alternatives aside, that is the most
important thing we do here...give each other that pat on the back...that
"cyber-hug" We KNOW how hard it is going to be, and how socially we can
be judged to be nuts instead of struggling for health.
My very dearest and best friend, has followed my two year old's scary
and horrifying story of navigating the health care system. Aaron did
not grow or gain from 6 months to 18 months! Doctors accusingly
suggested I feed him, and then he would grow. Ignoring my 20 years of
early childhood education experience, working with parents and teachers
on child health and nutrition, they had no answer, so they blamed me.
This friend worried with me, cried with me, watched my child vomit for
hours with me, and then go on to weeks of diarrhea and weight loss and
lethargy, noticed his developmental delays, and then finally rejoiced
with me when my husband and I finally uncovered the mystery, and were
able to lead Aaron back to health. She listened to me as I described
the painstaking label-reading, writing to companies, researching food
additives...and on and on.
During a recent visit, she was helping me prepare a meal, and I
explained that we must be careful if using dairy for her son and
herself, to prepare Aaron's food on a clean surface with different
utensils. I had to dodge around the kitchen, whisking dairy-laden items
out of my baby's reach. Friend and Son looked alarmed, and I finally
explained for the hundredth time (cheerily, though) that, yes, even that
much dairy can start the whole nightmare all over again. She just didn't
get it. It is such a crazy concept to those who are not in it up to
their necks, they can't really conceive of how bad it can be.
One day, after watching me prepare Aaron's lunch, along with everyone
else's, she said, with great feeling "This is really a LOT of work,
isn't it!?" I almost cried, but I hugged her instead and agreed that it
was, and said "But, look at him, now, growing and healthy". "He looks
great", she said, "and you really did that. I'll be sure to tell him
when he's older"
SHE GOT IT!!
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