Hi -

I hope you have web access as well as email, because there are some GREAT
cooking resources on the web.  My web page is a practical primer for cooking
and eating without milk, and includes links to such resources as milk-free
cookbooks (which you can purchase at amazon.com or order through your local
bookstore), and a bunch of milk-free web sites.  I also include cooking
tips, including some simple ingredient substitutions.

For a birthday cake, which is of specific interest to you right now, you
can use almost any recipe that starts off without milk, and substitute
a milk-free margerine or lard (which is GREAT for baking) instead of the
ubiquitous butter.  Put jam between the layers (if you make layers). For
the frosting, you can make a boiled-sugar frosting or you can try out
DUncan Hines brand from the ready-made container.  (The Duncan Hines brand
has no milk ingredients, but is listed as kosher-dairy, which means that there
may be a risk of cross-contamination from milk-including products manufactured
on the same line.)

If you're not confident of your cake-baking skills, ask at your local Jewish
temple for a kosher bakery that can make a PARVE cake for you.  (Better do
it soon, since Passover starts on the 7th of April and no kosher bakers stay
open at that time of year.  A 10-day hiatus in operations.)

I hope this information helps.
--Beth Kevles
  [log in to unmask]
  http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
  Disclaimer:  Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
  advice.  Please consult with your own medical practicioner.