Jennie,
My daughter (also almost 10) is acutely lactose intolerant, and becomes very
ill between 24-48 hours after ingesting any lactose products.  We recently
tried Vanilla flavored Soy Milk (Silk brand) which she much prefers to the
regular Silk Milk.  She also enjoys Silk Milk mixed with cocoa for hot cocoa.

Last year, I asked on this list about recipes for birthday cakes and got
many, many helpful responses.  (By the way, when is your daughter's 10th
birthday?  Jacqui's is the 25th of April)  Unfortunately, I went with a very
expensive bakery cake which was supposedly dairy-free, and Jacqui got really
sick.  We've learned alot since then!!
You will find this list very helpful and very prompt in their responses.

Sarah
(Jacqui's mom)