On Fri, 12 Dec 1997, Beth Kevles wrote:
>With a milk allergy in the house, etiquette has been an issue for
>us, too.  Miss Manners says that you just eat smoething in advance
>and don't bother your hosts with the allergy, but that doesn't really
>cut it for us in many situations.  Here's what we do:

It seems to me that Miss Manners (who I personally think is a snooty
snob out of touch with the realities of modernday life, anyways) is
offbase here -- seems to me it would be MORE insulting to just sit
there and not eat ANYTHING while everyone else is sitting at the table
and scarfing down delicacies...

Better (if worse comes to worse) to bring your OWN food than just sit
there staring at others eat...an act, I'm sure, which would make
everyone else, especially the host and hostess, uneasy...


>At large commercial events, such as benefits, or when we are going to
>a restaurant, we phone up the party being paid (the restaurant or the
>benefit sponsor) and say "One of our party has a milk allergy.  He cannot
>even eat vegetables sauteed in butter.  Can you accomodate us?"

Yep...done it, and people are amazingly accomodating.  Same thing in
restaurants...I think it's because they're afraid of lawsuits, they
envision someone going into anaphylatic shock or something...whatever
the reason, I've never had a problem with 'commercial' events...

The big problem arises at private events...some people get VERY
emotional about their particular specialty, and take it as a personal
affront if someone doesn't 'just taste it'...


D. June  ;-)

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