Car amicos,

Ecce un traduction de '60 cosas' in inglese colloquial.  Per favor, qui es Lorena
Bobbitt?

60 cosas que NON se debe dicer a un typo nude
(60 things NOT to say to a naked guy)

Io ha fumate cigarretas de marijuana plus voluminose que illo.
I've smoked bigger joints than that.

Ahh, illo es bellette
Oh, it's a lovely little thing.

Qui te circumcideva?
Who circumcised you?

Perque nos non simplemente nos accaressa?
Why don't we just fondle one another?

Tu sape que il ha un chirurgia pro corriger illo.
You know you can have it put right surgically.

Il es plus amusante reguardar lo.
It's quite entertaining to look at.

Face lo dansar.
Make it dance.

Tu sape, il ha un turre in Italia como illo.
You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.

Pote io pinger un facietta surridente sur illo?
Can I could paint a ‘smiler' on it?

Illo sembla un [night crawler]. 'Night crawler' es americano
It looks like an earthworm (a worm).  'Earthworm' es inglese brittanic.

Uau, e tu pedes son tan grande.
Ugh!  Are your feet that big?

Mi ultime amico era 10 cm plus grande.
My last friend was four inches bigger.

Il es OK, nos va superar isto.
It's OK, we can get the better of this.

Es isto un salsicia de cocktail dulce o piccante?
Is that a sweet or savoury cocktail sausage?

Ugh, il ha un verme sur tu coxa.
Ugh, you've got a worm on your thigh.

Si io lo comprime, illo va stridular?
If I squeeze it, will it squeak?

Oh no, un subite dolor-de-capite.
Oh no!  A sudden headache.

HUAAAHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
!!!!!!!

Esque io pote esser honeste con te?
Can I be frank with you?

Mi fratre de octo annos habe un assi.
My eight-year old brother has one just like that.

Lassa me prender mi pincette.
Let me get my ??

Quam dulce, tu apportava incenso.
How sweet, you've brought (a stick of) incense.

Isto explica tu auto.
This explains your car.

Tu debe esser ancora in phase de crescentia.
You must still be growing (up).

Forsan si nos lo riga, illo va crescer.
Perhaps it'll grow if we water it.

Gratias, io besoniava un mundadentes.
Thanks, I didn't need a toothbrush.

Es tu un de ille pygmeos?
Are you (one of those pigmies?).

Tu ja ha considerate travaliar in un [sideshow]?
Had you thought about working in a sideshow?

Tu ja audiva parlar de [clearasil]?
You've heard of Clearasil?

OK, un chassa al tesoro!
OK, a treasure hunt!

Io non sapeva que illos veniva tanto parve.
I didn't know they came as small as that.

Perque Deo te puni?
Why is God punishing you?

Al minus, isto non va durar multo.
At least this won't last long.

Io nunquam videva un assi antea.
I've never seen one like it before.

Como tu appella isto?
What do you call this?

Mais illo ancora functiona, nonne?
But it still works, doesn't it?

Diabolo! Io odia travaliar como baby-sitter.
Good grief! I'd hate to work as a baby-sitter.

Illo pare tanto otiose.
It looks a bit lazy.

Esque tu usa steroides?
Have you tried steroids?

On dice que masturbation excessive los contrahe.
They say excessive masturbation makes them shrink.

Forsan illo pare melior sub luce natural.
Perhaps it looks better in natural light.

Perque nos non passa directemente al cigarretas?
Why don't we just go straight on to the cigarettes?

Oh, io non sapeva que tu habeva un accidente.
Oh, I didn't know you'd had an accident.

Esque tu habeva un incontro con Lorena Bobbitt?
Did you run into Lorena Bobbitt?

Ooh, illo se cela.
Oh, it's hiding!

Habe tu frigido?
Are you cold?

Si tu me rende multo inebriate antea...
If you get me very drunk first...

Es illo un illusion optic?
Is it an optical illusion?

Que es illo?
What is it?

Io va prender le ketchup pro tu papata-frite.
I'll get the ketchup for your chip.

[Were you neutered?]


Es un bon cosa que tu habe tante altere talentos.
It's a good job you have other talents.

Esque illo es equipate con un pumpa de aere?
Does it come with its own inflater?

Pois, ecce perque on debe judicar le personas per lor personalitate.
(After all, here's how to judge people by their personality)

Ubi es le cordas del marionette?
Where are the strings that work it?

Tu [big gun] pare plus un [BB gun].
(Your cannon looks more like a shot-gun)

Vide, illo vesti ben le vestes de mi Barbie.
? ? ? ?

Non te attrista, perque preoccupar se?
(Don't be upset, why worry yourself?)

Es illo un secunde umbilico?
Is it a second navel?

Ubi es le resto de illo?
Where's the rest of it?


Spera que io inviava iste e-poste al addresse correcte.

Ken Walton