Ndey & Awa,
Nice work! This is a great one and a food for thought for every guy out there. I`ll like to confess that I find your contributions very enlightening, and would like to commend both of you. May I also seize the opportunity to praise sister Jabou Joh, and every other sister out there.
Regards,
Omar.
-----Opprinnelig melding-----
Fra: Jabou Joh <[log in to unmask]>
Til: [log in to unmask] <[log in to unmask]>
Dato: 16. november 1999 04:46
Emne: Re: Intergenerational Dialogue between two women
>Ndey & Awa,
>
>Good point, and l always admire the brothers who are not threatened by thier
>women, and who are supportive of them to follow their dreams. They are
>jewels.
> Unfortunately, l have also seen sisters whose husbands do not even
>consider them intelligent enough to have a serious conversation with. Their
>interaction is limited to that of the order giver, and the order taker.,
>won't even eat with them, they just prepare a nice meal, and set a nice table
>just for him, while they eat with the children.How then does one develop a
>meaningful relationship this way?
>
>Jabou Joh
>
>
>This is a discussion between two Gambian Sisters who were reflecting on the
> roles of women at home. This started by looking at the roles of the older
> generation.
>
> We were speaking about the difference between today's Gambian husband, and
> that of generations past. As we conversed, we stumbled across the topic
> regarding how our moms were submissive to our dads, by calling them
> "Nijai/M'Baring" as they
> addressed them, and how that was seen as a sign of respect towards one's
> husband. In our generation though, we've noticed that when we do that (be it
> teasingly or seriously), they tend to be uncomfortable about it. Some of us
> are even chased around the compound when we do that. This brought us to the
> decent conclusion that some of our men have made some progress because they:
> -love our independence
> -are proud of us for setting goals for ourselves
> -are not afraid of us reaching beyond their achievements
>
> Another conclusion we reached, was that the men who are serious about
> education do not seem to be intimidated by the independent, academically
> sound Gambian woman's because those women are not seen as threats, but jewels
> in Gambian society.
>
> To those brothers who make us feel good about ourselves; who make us feel
> loved and not afraid to give us the opportunity to reach for the moon and
> stars, we say CONGRATULATIONS, and keep up the good work!
>
> We still have a long way to go though, because we still have a majority of
> men who do not seem to encourage their women's growth and development
> economically. Majority of women have no time for their own development: The
> woman rises at 6 a.m. and prepares breakfast for the family and for herself,
> which they will eat at midmorning. After fetching water from the tap or well,
> she heads for her plot of land and it may be an hour's walk away. Until about
> 4:00 p.m. in the afternoon, she still, weeds or waters the land, stopping
> only briefly to eat whatever food she has taken with her. The two remaining
> hours of daylight are used to cut firewood and to collect food for the
> family, all which she carries home.
>
> Usually, she arrives home as the sun is setting. Now there is work to be done
> preparing the supper, a task that may occupy two hours or more. Sundays are
> spent washing clothes in the local river and then ironing, once the clothes
> are dry.
> Her husband rarely appreciates all this hard work or listens to her
> suggestions. He doesn't mind cutting down the trees or burning the forest
> underbush so that she can prepare the land for planting, but he does little
> more. Occasionally he takes the children the river to wash themselves, and he
> may do a little hunting and fishing. But much of his day is spent talking
> with other menfolk of the village at the Bantabas.
>
> If the husband can afford it, after a few years, he will bring home a new,
> younger wife, who will become the centre of his affection. His first wife,
> however, will still be expected to keep working always until her health fails
> or she dies.
>
> SO, we asked ourselves: when does the woman has time for herself, her own
> development, her growth etc......? The answer is obviously no time at all.
> But, what has changed in our generation?
>
> Regards,
>
> Ndey Jobarteh & Awa Sey
> >>
>
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