In a message dated 11/18/99 6:44:46 PM Central Standard Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
<< Jabou, we empathize with the women whose husbands treat them like second
class citizens. However, we feel that western education is not the only way
of the Gambian woman gaining her independence. There are women entrepreneurs
back home who work in tailoring, fabric merchandising, etc., and we do not
think they would be treated like that. Let's help our sisters back home with
the resources for self-enhancement, thus raising their self-esteems levels
high enough to take a detour from maltreatment like you described.
>>
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Awa & Ndey,
Again thanks for this timely posting. However, l feel l must say here that l
do not think l mentioned anything in my comment that implied that western
education was the only way for Gambian women to gain their independence, and
your comment here tends to imply that l said as much. l just mentioned the
problem of the lack of respect for some of our sisters, demonstrated by their
husbands, in that they do not discuss anything of significance with them at
all, or even sit down to share a meal with them. Instead, they are relegated
to order takers. l mentioned that they do not even sit down to eat with the
wife, again giving the implication that they do not consider this individual
an equal both in the partnership, as well as in intelligence. All these
things have absolutely nothing to do with western education being needed to
emancipate our sisters.
Yes, there are many of our sisters who are engaged in entrepreneurial
ventures that certainly give them the financial freedom, so that they do not
have to feel the financial dependency that forces many a woman who are
subjected to maltreatment by their spouses from speaking out. However, l
think that to assume that the fact that these sisters are finacially able to
support themselves has resulted in their total emancipation from male
domination is quite a simplistic conclusion. While attaining financial
independence is certainly a good point to start from, there are still many
battles for us as women to fight.One can have all the money one needs so they
do not have to be dependent, but perhaps the only other solution for this
woman, when faced with an abusive, disrespectful or inconsiderate spouse
would be to pack her bags and leave, which only serves as a temporary
solution. l think what we must aspire to is a solution that will implement a
change within that will ultimately take care of every aspect of how we are
viewed in the society, as an integral part of it, able to contribute as much
as anyone else. As you pointed out in your posting:
"There cannot be any development without the full participation of women"
The recognition that women are an integral part of the development of any
nation has to start with our men gaining an understanding that we have
opinions, ideas and the intelligence to contribute much. This in turn will
only come about when we begin to see each other as equals, by interacting as
equals, talking to each other, and where better to start than having a one
on one interactions like sharing a meal. This was the basis of my comment
about "not even sitting down to a meal with one's spouse".
Now, then, the question is, how do we begin to help each other as women to
gain not only the financial independence, but to face the overall challenge
of being treated as just normal human beings with abilities to make
staggering contributions?
l am open to any ideas.
Jabou Joh
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