#s 8 & 18 are my favorites. Enjoy!
1.A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station
is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a workstation ...
2.If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
3.If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool
came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
4.Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
5.What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses
of bald men?
6.I was thinking that women should put pictures of
missing husbands on beer cans.
7.I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese
mothers use. Toothpicks?
8.Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the
Post Office? What are we supposed to do? Write to
these men? Why don't they just put their pictures
on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look
for them while they delivered the mail?
9.How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't
live there?
10.If it's true that we are here to help others, then what
exactly are the OTHERS here for?
11.Clones are people two.
12.If a man says something in the woods and there are
no women to hear him, is he still wrong?
13.Go ahead and take risks.... just be sure that everything
will turn out OK.
14.If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
15.Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it
didn't zigzag?
16.Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
17.Think "honk" if you're telepathic.
18.If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide,
is that considered a hostage situation?
19.If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
20.I went for a walk last night and my kids asked me how
long I'd be gone. I said, "The whole time."
21.We can measure the speed of light,so what's the speed of dark?
22.How come you don't ever hear about gruntled employees?
And who has been dissing them anyhow?
23.After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before
getting OUT of the water?
24.Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
25.If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you
pack it in?
26.I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live
above me are furious.
27.Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
28.Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste
funny?
29.Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
30.Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in
it?
31.Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak?
32.How come abbreviated is such a long word?
33.If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be
twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
34.Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw
hamburgers?
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