Thank you Suntou.
You have, perhaps unawares, further advanced the conversation. I caution
against limiting orphanage to ONLY the absence of the father. I was at great
pains to not yield to that albeit impressive angle. That said, I want to commend
you for bringing up an important point viz:
"i am proud of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still
take turns to look after their kid's. that is also another important thing."
Suntou.
I will only add 'sisters' where you have brothers but the anecdote points us
in this if transitional direction in the conversation to yield secours -
Most communities of folk have traditions of assistance to orphaned children
who have lost one or both parents. Even though this does not readily address
orphans of exiled or estranged parents, it is worth our while to inventory
what resources we already have on the ground and expand on those. That is why
what you shared is so valuable.
I understand that in Wollof, Mandinka, Jola, Fula, Sarahule, Toucouleur,
bedouin, Moor, Touareg and Serer traditions, when a father is deceased, one of
his brothers, cousins, or another member of his family undertakes to nurture
his bereaved wife and children. This tradition however is quasi-religious and
part ethnic. In Christian communities, I do not know of a specific tradition
for a brother, cousin, or family member to re-marry the bereaved wife of
their kin. However, the kind Christian heart does offer secours for the bereaved
family only the wife either becomes a widower for life or is free to re-marry
as she so chooses. Both safety nets are valuable for they provide a
semblance of stability and haven for the children. So in effect, there is some
structure of continued support for the children and bereaved wives. Now then, when
the mother is deceased, the father is generally free to re-marry n'importe
qui (as he desires) but advised to marry a wife who will be diligent in
nurturing the orphaned children as is reasonable within their means. More often, the
death of one or both parents diminishes the family's resources significantly
to a point where despair sets in. Other times, the man is married to other
wives with whom he has children. In such cases, we must redouble our efforts
as 'other wives' to accept such children as our own and nurture them the best
way possible. Some such communities may have a tradition of allocating the
children to the wives for shared secours.
It appears therefore that it is the diminished resources of the bereaved
wife or husband that we ought to focus on to find additional support. At least
until they re-marry. This transitional period can mean the difference between
continued valuable life and death. For example; the brother who, by tradition,
must offer secours for the bereaved children and wife, may himself already
be struggling for food, home, nad education for his own children but out of
honour and respect, cannot refuse to take in the bereaved family. The bereaved
father has more discretionary lattitude but still may need a critical helping
hand during the transitional period of loss of the mother and when he
re-marries. We can see that in all cases, the transitional period which I will call
the Flux term for brevity, is common to all. While re-marrying can be
encouraged, the children still need help during Flux. Most traditions have a period
of bereavement for the wife (not sure if this is true for the husband),
generally between 30 - 40 days. Perhaps for those traditions, a focus on Flux
Secours can be valuable.
Now none of what we have discussed so far has bearing on the orphans of
exiled or estranged parent/parents.
I yield now for more ideas/suggestions/views.
Haruna.
In a message dated 6/27/2008 7:59:14 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:
haruna, interesting. your human side is amazing. i wrote a poem about
children who grow up only with their mothers, i haven't publish it yet. i am proud
of many Gambian brothers who are divorce with spouses but still take turns to
look after their kid's. that is also another important thing. unfortunately,
two years ago, i was in touch with an American lady who had a child with a
Gambian but the marriage ended and the man moved away, the lady was looking
for a Gambian to connect the child.
you raised valid points masoud.
Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
I have been wondering about the affairs and plight of children who have lost
one or both parents. The query brought me to a need to identify such
children. Help me out if you can please.
I am inclined to describe orphaned children as follows:
1. Those children who have lost a Father and or Mother.
These children span all ages, from the baby who is nursing and suddenly
robbed of his or her parent/parents, to the adolescent who is on the verge
of
taking epochal matriculation exams, to the adult who has relied on his or
her
children's grandparents to nurture his or her own children. It runs the
gamut.
Suddenly there is not the person who calls you in from play when darkness
descends or to call you to prayer. The one who answers the principal's
summons
when you run roughshod of school rules or to receive your teacher's personal
commendation for your good work. The one you share with your friends when
you
take turns boasting about your pedigrees. The one who recognizes you must
see
a doctor/dentist when you begin losing your first teeth. The one who brags
to
other parents about you or solicits counsel for you. The one who takes you
fishing, hunting, canoeing, tree-climbing, or on your first ferry-ride. The
one who cleans your nose in her mouth. The one who defends you when other
errant parents want to pin juvenile crimes on you in deference to their own
knuckleheads. The one who tells you not to climb out the window when he or
she
goes to sleep just so you can join you friends at the Jafandu party.
Reminiscences. Life support.
2. Those children who are abandoned if only temporarily.
These children have at one point in their lives or for all their lives dealt
with one or both parents going away for further studies with the hope of
reunion (which desire is oft overtaken by other consideration and
intervening
time and events) or exiled by rogue governance, or overseas appointments.
Perchance, there is some way to yield such children relief and afford them a
semblance of stability and continued value-life. Some of these parents may
have been the sole breadwinners of the family or may have been married to
one
or more wives the latter of whom are themselves at the precipice of hunger,
despair, and possibly suicide.
I encourage my friends here to consider these children and elevate the
conversation to some meaningful secours as only the mighty and conscientious
of
Ellen might be capable of. I now yield for other view/suggestion/ideas.
Thank you my friends and fambul.
Haruna.
**************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for
fuel-efficient used cars.
(http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007)
いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L
Web interface
at: http://listserv.icors.org/archives/gambia-l.html
To Search in the Gambia-L archives, go to:
http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?S1=gambia-l
To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to:
[log in to unmask]
いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L
Web interface
at: http://listserv.icors.org/archives/gambia-l.html
To Search in the Gambia-L archives, go to:
http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?S1=gambia-l
To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to:
[log in to unmask]
いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
**************Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for
fuel-efficient used cars. (http://autos.aol.com/used?ncid=aolaut00050000000007)
いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
To unsubscribe/subscribe or view archives of postings, go to the Gambia-L Web interface
at: http://listserv.icors.org/archives/gambia-l.html
To Search in the Gambia-L archives, go to: http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?S1=gambia-l
To contact the List Management, please send an e-mail to:
[log in to unmask]
いいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいいい
|
