Big Trouble at SitTight Enterprises

By Baba Galleh Jallow


Dr. NoPen Runhere, alias Snooty, sneezed and sneezed again. At the sound of 
his boss’s sneezing, Bra Smoothface Darelie came rushing in, sniffing and 
snorting, saying ‘bless you, bless you’ and complaining of a terrible cold 
he had just caught. This was a common sight at SitTight Enterprises. The 
staff had become so accustomed to the automatic reactions the boss’s every 
action produced in Bra Smoothface Darelie that they no longer expressed 
surprise at his strange antics.

Dr. NoPen Runhere, managing director of the famous SitTight Enterprises, had 
a whole lot of very loyal staff and servants. There were the likes of Bra 
Yuppie, whose cardinal characteristic was a chronic inability to understand 
simple English, but who was famous for his persistent expositions in English 
of the excellent qualities of Dr. NoPen Runhere. As one of the co-directors 
of the communications department at SitTight Enterprises, Bra Yuppie poured 
out endless pages in praise of the great boss, always with the aid of a 
dictionary. It did not matter whether his grammar was correct or not. What 
mattered was that he heaped as many praises on the boss as he possibly could 
without choking the very paper itself.

And there was Bra Neverthink Justdo, whose function was to serve as Master 
of Ceremonies at the many dinner parties organized in honor of the gallant 
Dr. Runhere. Bra Neverthink, who had to pause and think of what to say next 
after every sentence, had grown adept at thinking and saying whatever he 
thought Snooty wanted to hear. It did not matter whether what he said made 
sense or not. So long as Snooty’s head bopped up and down in appreciation 
and his face glowed with oily contentment, Bra Neverthink Justdo would go 
right ahead and have his noisy say.
								    Then there was one of the most famous staff at SitTight 
Enterprises, the gallant and flamboyant Bra Whatyasay Yesbaas. Bra Yesbaas 
was only interested in one thing - to be near the seat of power at SitTight 
Enterprises and partake of whatever dry crumbs of glory dropped from the big 
man’s table. His function was to vehemently assent to whatever Snooty said 
and vigorously deny whatever anyone else said that was not in line with 
Snooty’s personal philosophy of Never Down. It did not matter whether what 
was said was the truth or a bunch of lies that made you hold your nose and 
run away. What mattered was whether it was in line with Snooty’s infallible 
philosophy of Never Down. If it was, it was true. If not, it was a lie. Case 
closed, coffin sealed, dropped in the hole, buried.

But none of these or Snooty’s many other loyal servants came anywhere close 
to the level at which Bra Smoothface Darelie perched in relation to Snooty’s 
personal pleasure. Bra Darelie was so loyal to the boss that he always 
declared that he loved the boss more than he loved himself. When Snooty 
complained of heat, Bra Darelie would fly into a frenzy and start sweating 
profusely. When Snooty complained of cold, Bra Darelie would immediately 
start shivering so hard that his teeth loudly clattered in his mouth. When 
Snooty complained of a mild headache, Bra Darelie would start weeping and 
moaning, holding his head, tears running down his cheeks, asking to be given 
an overdose of Tylenol. When Snooty got annoyed about something, Bra Darelie 
would fly into a tantrum and loudly weep and wail and furiously knock the 
walls and pull his hair. And when Snooty said he was happy, Bra Darelie 
would laugh so hard that he would cry. He would bend and double over and 
roll on the floor in blissful glee.

When Snooty expressed disagreement with someone, Bra Darelie would challenge 
that person to a duel and call him fool and a useless species that must not 
live. An eloquent speaker, Bra Darelie would loudly extol the undying 
virtues and endless glories of the great Dr. Snooty, whom he called homo 
yesyes. He would call the offending person a miserable fly that was trying 
to fell a giant tree. He would speak in tongues and parables and remind the 
pretentious brat of the rat who thought he was an elephant and thus got 
himself into mortal trouble. Bra Darelie also performed all those unsavory 
tasks Snooty himself did not want to touch. No wonder Bra Darelie soon 
overshadowed all of Snooty’s loyal servants and won himself the honorable 
and immortal title of Snooty’s Chief Puppet. And boy was he glad to be given 
such an honorable title!! That was what he lived for!

Sadly, one fine day, the loyal Bra Darelie, most long-serving and most loyal 
crony to Dr. NoPen Runhere, alias Snooty, was forcibly and unceremoniously 
kicked out of the great guy’s presence. It led all our common townsfolk into 
a great confusion and had them hold their amazed mouths and loudly wonder, 
shaking their heads in utter disbelief. When they thought of Bra Darelie's 
amazing antics, some of our common townsfolk loudly wept and blew their 
noses and drank some water to cool their throats. Then they would sadly 
shake their heads and wonder what had become of our little town, why the 
world was so upside down. How on earth could Dr. NoPen Runhere ever think of 
sacking the most loyal, ever faithful Bra Darelie of the silent gaze?

For his part, a devastated Bra Darelie bundled his stuff and with head held 
high, furiously marched off, thoughts of red vengeance flashing in his 
bloodshot eyes. Our common townsfolk suspected they were soon going to see 
some strange action on the part of the bitter Bra Darelie.

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