AwaKorima,
I am delighted to know that you found my last posting brilliant. Thank you
so much for your kind comments, even if I cannot sympathise with you on the
matter of the weather in Maine. You see, I live in Stockholm, and the
weathermen say it is going to be a fierce winter this time! On the other
hand, I hope you live far from Stephen King and his ghosts?........
Awa, Ndey,
Thanks for reminding us of who we are. I think though, that the tiltle is
potentially confusing. I mean that, the majority of Gambian women of your
own generation live as you powerfully illustrated in your article. Seems to
me to be more of the consequences and contradictions of the lives of women
in a predominantly agricultural/peasant society and that of those who have
stepped into an industrial social order. The different intellectual and
economic relations between husband and wife are fundamentally different.
Time is short for the moment, but I will elaborate on this eventually.
Modou S Sidibeh.
----- Original Message -----
From: <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, November 15, 1999 11:19 PM
Subject: Intergenerational Dialogue between two women
> This is a discussion between two Gambian Sisters who were reflecting on
the
> roles of women at home. This started by looking at the roles of the older
> generation.
>
> We were speaking about the difference between today's Gambian husband, and
> that of generations past. As we conversed, we stumbled across the topic
> regarding how our moms were submissive to our dads, by calling them
> "Nijai/M'Baring" as they
> addressed them, and how that was seen as a sign of respect towards one's
> husband. In our generation though, we've noticed that when we do that (be
it
> teasingly or seriously), they tend to be uncomfortable about it. Some of
us
> are even chased around the compound when we do that. This brought us to
the
> decent conclusion that some of our men have made some progress because
they:
> -love our independence
> -are proud of us for setting goals for ourselves
> -are not afraid of us reaching beyond their achievements
>
> Another conclusion we reached, was that the men who are serious about
> education do not seem to be intimidated by the independent, academically
> sound Gambian woman's because those women are not seen as threats, but
jewels
> in Gambian society.
>
> To those brothers who make us feel good about ourselves; who make us feel
> loved and not afraid to give us the opportunity to reach for the moon and
> stars, we say CONGRATULATIONS, and keep up the good work!
>
> We still have a long way to go though, because we still have a majority of
> men who do not seem to encourage their women's growth and development
> economically. Majority of women have no time for their own development:
The
> woman rises at 6 a.m. and prepares breakfast for the family and for
herself,
> which they will eat at midmorning. After fetching water from the tap or
well,
> she heads for her plot of land and it may be an hour's walk away. Until
about
> 4:00 p.m. in the afternoon, she still, weeds or waters the land, stopping
> only briefly to eat whatever food she has taken with her. The two
remaining
> hours of daylight are used to cut firewood and to collect food for the
> family, all which she carries home.
>
> Usually, she arrives home as the sun is setting. Now there is work to be
done
> preparing the supper, a task that may occupy two hours or more. Sundays
are
> spent washing clothes in the local river and then ironing, once the
clothes
> are dry.
> Her husband rarely appreciates all this hard work or listens to her
> suggestions. He doesn't mind cutting down the trees or burning the forest
> underbush so that she can prepare the land for planting, but he does
little
> more. Occasionally he takes the children the river to wash themselves, and
he
> may do a little hunting and fishing. But much of his day is spent talking
> with other menfolk of the village at the Bantabas.
>
> If the husband can afford it, after a few years, he will bring home a
new,
> younger wife, who will become the centre of his affection. His first wife,
> however, will still be expected to keep working always until her health
fails
> or she dies.
>
> SO, we asked ourselves: when does the woman has time for herself, her own
> development, her growth etc......? The answer is obviously no time at all.
> But, what has changed in our generation?
>
> Regards,
>
> Ndey Jobarteh & Awa Sey
>
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