You welcome Haruna. Trying to do our little bit from this end always. Thanks
for the encouragement.
Baba
>From: Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Realistic Guy
>Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2007 14:19:23 EST
>
>
>Brilliant Galleh. I think you should consider this other genre of satire
>just as you excel in non-fiction. I am enjoying Mandela's Other Children. I
>want
>to treasure the submissions so I am reading it ever so slowly. I want to
>encourage you to become the polyvalent you can be when time permits. I
>think you
>have immense value to our community. And without satire, the soul of a
>community cannot be fully enriched nor perspectively cautioned. Democracy
>relies on
>satire and journalism for sustenance. Thanx always.
>
>Haruna.
>
>In a message dated 12/17/2007 1:59:16 A.M. Mountain Standard Time,
>[log in to unmask] writes:
>
>Realistic Guy
>
>By Baba Galleh Jallow
>
>Our little town was not entirely unblessed when it came to having some
>really prominent citizens. Indeed, it was in the domain of citizenship
>that
>most of our prominent big wigs dazzled our senses with their wit and
>wisdom,
>which, thankfully, they were never loathe to share with our less endowed
>common townsfolk. It was no surprise at all that in our little town, there
>was a common saying that at least one common folk got wiser every single
>day. And this is in no small measure attributable to the great wisdom of
>one
>of our most prominent citizens, Alhaji Doctor Choot Choot Hapati, commonly
>known in our little town as the Realistic Guy on account of his mastery of
>the art and science of realism in all their loaded complexities.
>
>Now Alhaji Doctor Choot Choot Hapati was no little guy in our little town.
>Indeed, we could safely say that he was no ordinary big wig in our little
>town. We just stop short of saying that our little town is almost unworthy
>of the presence of this great guy who was so wise we sometimes thought he
>was the sun itself come down to earth, walking on two feet and talking
>with
>its mouth. For not only was Alhaji Doctor Choot Choot Hapati a great
>natural
>orator and myth booster, he was also an eminently learned person, a
>veritable guru of ancient wisdom and a bitter cola of modern learning, to
>borrow a prominent metaphor from our little town. Well versed in all the
>categories of subtle wisdom with which the very fabric of our local
>customs
>are woven, Dr. Choot Choot Hapati was also highly educated in the wisdoms
>of
>the modern world: he held a Bachelor of Fats in Rope Dragging from Whig
>University, a Masters degree in Swashbuckling from the famous university
>of
>No Teach, and to cap it all, a dazzling Doctorate of Robosophy in Real
>Techniques from the world famous university of No Contest Upon Find, which
>was why he was given the honorable nickname of Realistic Guy and why our
>common townsfolk simply adored him.
>
>Fortunately for our common townsfolk, Dr. Choot Choot Hapati was not one
>to
>lose an opportunity to teach less endowed folks a thing or two about life.
>And he found a perfect opportunity to do this by developing his own
>personal
>philosophy of being a realistic guy. What plopped out of the fertile mind
>of
>our great doctor and bloomed into the sunny airs of our little town was
>nothing less than a brand new realistic philosophy of life which he aptly
>called, without any unnecessary fanfare, the indubitable philosophy of
>Lestek. Our common townsfolk never tired of gathering around the great Dr.
>Choot Choot to hear him expound aspects of his dazzling new philosophy
>with
>the hope that they would go home at the end of the day if only a teeny
>weeny
>bit wiser than they were when they arrived. And good lord all of mercy!
>Our
>great doctor never failed to deliver!
>
>Dr. Choot Choot Hapati was a kind and generous soul, and as such, he
>always
>began his lectures with a wide and benign smile which never failed to warm
>the gullible hearts of our simple-minded townsfolk. Having smiled every
>one
>into a cozy comfort zone, Dr. Choot Choot Hapati would then proceed to
>deliver one of his memorable discourses on the art and science of being
>realistic. And being the ultimate master of jargon, Dr. Choot Choot would
>always begin by citing the ancient aphorism that of course, you could only
>learn about realism if you were yourself real and that our common
>townsfolk
>were indeed real because he could see them with his own two real eyes as
>well as his two unreal ones perched academically on his nose in the form
>of
>his famous reading glasses.
>
>“But even my glasses are real, I can say,” he would wisely pout.
>“But some
>of ya wouldn’t know that, would ya, because you will say because the
>glasses
>are not made of life and blood, they therefore are not real.” Such a
>clever
>statement always elicited a long drone of hmn – hmn and several nods of
>enlightenment from his doting audience. Whereby Dr. Choot Choot Hapati
>would
>proceed to tell them what exactly it means to be a realistic guy.
>
>“Ya see,” he would say, tilting his head to one side. “Sometimes I
>want to
>tilt my head like this, or like this, or bend it like this, or look at the
>heavens like this. But then I will ask myself; I’ll say Choot Choot wait
>a
>minute. Which of these postures do you really think is realistic? And then
>I
>would say Choot Choot you gotta be kidding me! And you know why I say
>that,
>because to be a realistic guy you have to know where exactly your head is
>tilted at every single moment of the day without even asking. It doesn’t
>matter whether you are sleeping or walking. If y’all sit and forget that
>there is a head on your shoulders, or that it is tilted this way or the
>other, then y’all are seriously out of touch with reality.” Our amazed
>common townsfolk would utter shrill cries of admiration, loudly groan
>their
>undying approval, and shake their heads many, many times as another
>invaluable piece of realistic wisdom sunk into their heads. Thus
>encouraged,
>a beaming Dr. Choot Choot Hapati would continue.
>
>“But I am not saying that to be a realistic guy you have to be arrogant
>and
>boastful. I actually got a masters degree in swashbuckling and I can tell
>you that to be arrogant is both part of being a realistic guy and is not
>part of being a realistic guy. Because you see, to be a realistic guy you
>have to be able to be both here and there and elsewhere AT THE SAME TIME.
>And that is crucial – the ability to be everywhere AT THE SAME TIME.
>Because
>this means that you have to do something that is both impossible and yes,
>possible, even easy: You have to grow additional feet with which to stand
>on
>multiple ground at the same moment, additional mouth with which to speak,
>additional eyes with which to see, and yes, additional hands with which to
>shake worthy hands and slap unworthy ones. But of course, this stuff is
>far
>too advanced for y’all. So I will have to explain further next time. For
>now, just remember this: to be realistic guy, you have to eat your bread
>but
>still have it, as the Englishman would say.”
>
>Such a dizzying analysis of his philosophy of Lestek would send our common
>townsfolk staring wildly around and exclaiming heh! heh! heh! Did you hear
>what Dr. Choot said? Heh! This guy is really educated! Heh!
>
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