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Subject:
From:
Baba Galleh Jallow <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
The Gambia and related-issues mailing list <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 17 Dec 2007 23:37:57 +0000
Content-Type:
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You welcome Haruna. Trying to do our little bit from this end always. Thanks 
for the encouragement.

Baba


>From: Haruna Darbo <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Gambia and related-issues mailing list              
><[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: Re: Realistic Guy
>Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2007 14:19:23 EST
>
>
>Brilliant Galleh. I think you should consider this other genre of satire
>just as you excel in non-fiction. I am enjoying Mandela's Other Children. I 
>want
>to treasure the submissions so I am reading it ever so slowly. I want to
>encourage you to become the polyvalent you can be when time permits. I 
>think you
>have immense value to our community. And without satire, the soul of a
>community  cannot be fully enriched nor perspectively cautioned. Democracy 
>relies on
>satire  and journalism for sustenance. Thanx always.
>
>Haruna.
>
>In a message dated 12/17/2007 1:59:16 A.M. Mountain Standard Time,
>[log in to unmask] writes:
>
>Realistic  Guy
>
>By Baba Galleh Jallow
>
>Our little town was not entirely  unblessed when it came to having some
>really prominent citizens. Indeed,  it was in the domain of citizenship 
>that
>most of our prominent big wigs  dazzled our senses with their wit and 
>wisdom,
>which, thankfully, they were  never loathe to share with our less endowed
>common townsfolk. It was no  surprise at all that in our little town, there
>was a common saying that at  least one common folk got wiser every single
>day. And this is in no small  measure attributable to the great wisdom of 
>one
>of our most prominent  citizens, Alhaji Doctor Choot Choot Hapati, commonly
>known in our little  town as the Realistic Guy on account of his mastery of
>the art and science  of realism in all their loaded complexities.
>
>Now Alhaji Doctor Choot  Choot Hapati was no little guy in our little town.
>Indeed, we could safely  say that he was no ordinary big wig in our little
>town. We just stop short  of saying that our little town is almost unworthy
>of the presence of this  great guy who was so wise we sometimes thought he
>was the sun itself come  down to earth, walking on two feet and talking 
>with
>its mouth. For not  only was Alhaji Doctor Choot Choot Hapati a great 
>natural
>orator and myth  booster, he was also an eminently learned person, a
>veritable guru of  ancient wisdom and a bitter cola of modern learning, to
>borrow a prominent  metaphor from our little town. Well versed in all the
>categories of subtle  wisdom with which the very fabric of our local 
>customs
>are woven, Dr.  Choot Choot Hapati was also highly educated in the wisdoms 
>of
>the modern  world: he held a Bachelor of Fats in Rope Dragging from Whig
>University, a  Masters degree in Swashbuckling from the famous university 
>of
>No Teach,  and to cap it all, a dazzling Doctorate of Robosophy in Real
>Techniques  from the world famous university of No Contest Upon Find, which
>was why he  was given the honorable nickname of Realistic Guy and why our
>common  townsfolk simply adored him.
>
>Fortunately for our common townsfolk, Dr.  Choot Choot Hapati was not one 
>to
>lose an opportunity to teach less  endowed folks a thing or two about life.
>And he found a perfect  opportunity to do this by developing his own 
>personal
>philosophy of being  a realistic guy. What plopped out of the fertile mind 
>of
>our great doctor  and bloomed into the sunny airs of our little town was
>nothing less than a  brand new realistic philosophy of life which he aptly
>called, without any  unnecessary fanfare, the indubitable philosophy of
>Lestek. Our common  townsfolk never tired of gathering around the great Dr.
>Choot Choot to  hear him expound aspects of his dazzling new philosophy 
>with
>the hope that  they would go home at the end of the day if only a teeny 
>weeny
>bit wiser  than they were when they arrived. And good lord all of mercy! 
>Our
>great  doctor never failed to deliver!
>
>Dr. Choot Choot Hapati was a kind and  generous soul, and as such, he 
>always
>began his lectures with a wide and  benign smile which never failed to warm
>the gullible hearts of our  simple-minded townsfolk. Having smiled every 
>one
>into a cozy comfort zone,  Dr. Choot Choot Hapati would then proceed to
>deliver one of his memorable  discourses on the art and science of being
>realistic. And being the  ultimate master of jargon, Dr. Choot Choot would
>always begin by citing  the ancient aphorism that of course, you could only
>learn about realism if  you were yourself real and that our common 
>townsfolk
>were indeed real  because he could see them with his own two real eyes as
>well as his two  unreal ones perched academically on his nose in the form 
>of
>his famous  reading glasses.
>
>“But even my glasses are real, I can say,” he would  wisely pout. 
>“But some
>of ya wouldn’t know that, would ya, because you  will say because the 
>glasses
>are not made of life and blood, they  therefore are not real.” Such a 
>clever
>statement always elicited a long  drone of hmn – hmn and several nods of
>enlightenment from his doting  audience. Whereby Dr. Choot Choot Hapati 
>would
>proceed to tell them what  exactly it means to be a realistic guy.
>
>“Ya see,” he would say, tilting  his head to one side. “Sometimes I 
>want to
>tilt my head like this, or like  this, or bend it like this, or look at the
>heavens like this. But then I  will ask myself; I’ll say Choot Choot wait 
>a
>minute. Which of these  postures do you really think is realistic? And then 
>I
>would say Choot  Choot you gotta be kidding me! And you know why I say 
>that,
>because to be  a realistic guy you have to know where exactly your head is
>tilted at  every single moment of the day without even asking. It doesn’t
>matter  whether you are sleeping or walking. If y’all sit and forget that
>there is  a head on your shoulders, or that it is tilted this way or the
>other, then  y’all are seriously out of touch with reality.” Our amazed
>common  townsfolk would utter shrill cries of admiration, loudly groan 
>their
>undying approval, and shake their heads many, many times as another
>invaluable piece of realistic wisdom sunk into their heads. Thus  
>encouraged,
>a beaming Dr. Choot Choot Hapati would continue.
>
>“But I  am not saying that to be a realistic guy you have to be arrogant 
>and
>boastful. I actually got a masters degree in swashbuckling and I can tell
>you that to be arrogant is both part of being a realistic guy and is not
>part of being a realistic guy. Because you see, to be a realistic guy you
>have to be able to be both here and there and elsewhere AT THE SAME TIME.
>And that is crucial – the ability to be everywhere AT THE SAME TIME.  
>Because
>this means that you have to do something that is both impossible  and yes,
>possible, even easy: You have to grow additional feet with which  to stand 
>on
>multiple ground at the same moment, additional mouth with  which to speak,
>additional eyes with which to see, and yes, additional  hands with which to
>shake worthy hands and slap unworthy ones. But of  course, this stuff is 
>far
>too advanced for y’all. So I will have to  explain further next time. For
>now, just remember this: to be realistic  guy, you have to eat your bread 
>but
>still have it, as the Englishman would  say.”
>
>Such a dizzying analysis of his philosophy of Lestek would send  our common
>townsfolk staring wildly around and exclaiming heh! heh! heh!  Did you hear
>what Dr. Choot said? Heh! This guy is really educated!  Heh!
>
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