Hi Kathy,
You have heard it before, but know I am praying and I am going to get my
church  to pray about this also.
Remember Gretchen.
Vinny
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, December 17, 2004 6:44 AM
Subject: the saga of Chris continues


> Hi Guys,
>         Wow, I feel guilty writing this post and interfering with the mad
> interpretations of Phil's dream and all, especially since we all recognize
> that it may foretell serious consequences for our fearless
> leader.  "GROAN!"  Phil, are there any places of refuge out in Denver,
just
> in case you need to get away for a few days?  It sounds like some of the
> women in your life are cooking up something that may make you wish that
> you'd never seen that freezer in the first place!  Ah well, Just be
careful
> what you eat for a while until this blows, or maybe freezes over; in
> keeping with the situation.
>         I would have kept you guys updated about our situation with Chris
all
> along, but, as you know, I've been trying to learn Eudora and that has
> really put a damper in my communication with the outside world.  The deal
> there is that Juno stopped pulling in e-mail to an inbox.  If I wanted to
> view my mail I had to go on the web and at that, my box was severely
> limited.  Also, Jaws and Juno never did work well together and when I went
> on the web, it was next to impossible so I have switched over to my cable
> account and am learning Eudora and life goes on.  I am liking Eudora
better
> than Juno, by the way.  It works well with JAWS.  Also, I like the fact
> that editing is very similar to Microsoft Word so I will be happy with
this
> change.  It's just that I keep my handy little cheat sheet next to me at
> all times while I am learning all the new commands and, as you know, some
> stuff just isn't covered and that's when I panic and start asking
questions
> again.  Thanks so much for all your patience!!
>
>         Anyway, on to more serious matters.  The situation with Chris,
well, I
> don't know how I feel right now.  Yesterday, I was crying, Wednesday, I
was
> mad and humiliated.  I spend a lot of time next to his bed pouring out my
> heart to God.  We began tapping his phone conversations last week after he
> took off with someone that he refused to identify and, Phil is right, it's
> sickening to find out more truth than you thought you could bare.
>           Chris is using pot more than he will admit too.  He told us and
his
> probation officer that he had only used twice and that he didn't like it,
> but that's a lie.  We've taken his driving privileges away until he can
> pass a drug test.  We had a drug test in the house.  He knew it and last
> Thursday night he ransacked our room while we were at bible study,
> administered the test to himself and, of course, it came up positive for
> weed.  We fir figured this out by reading some instant messaging that he
> had written, but then, Greg went through the garbage and we found the
> proof, though, of course, he had flushed the sample down the toilet so we
> had nothing to send to the lab.  The drug counselor that he saw last
Friday
> wasn't much help if he only did what Chris says.  According to Chris, the
> counselor offered Chris a phone number for a place that he could find help
> moving out and getting a low rent apartment and food stamps and so forth.
>         He skipped school on Wednesday which isn['g good because he faces
the
> possibility of expulsion.  His first meeting with the probation officer
was
> this past Wednesday.  On the way, Chris informed us that he had dropped
out
> of school.  When we asked him what he had done officially, he said
nothing,
> but when I don't show up for a while, they'll get the hint.
>         Fortunately, the probation officer saw things differently.  She
wrote up a
> contract with Chris with four conditions.  1, he may be a target for
random
> drug testing.  2, he must stay in school, 3, he must participate in in
> home,  family counseling and 4,  he must see her every other week for
> starters.  The thing is that Chris is such a good actor, I'm afraid that
> he'll be able to sweet talk, or shmoose his way through whatever hoop that
> he is presented with and everybody will think that he has repented and
> reformed, leaving us looking like crazed parents who are creating the
> problem.  Chris was very cooperative at the meeting.  So much so that the
> probation officer commented on it and thanked him.  What she didn't see is
> how badly he behaved toward us on the way home. Someone has suggested
> getting a good tape recorder and we may have to do this to be able to
prove
> how nuts this whole situation is.
>         Yesterday, we had a meeting with Chris at school.  Everybody sat
around
> telling him that he is much more capable than he is letting on and they
> asked him what they could do to help him pull up his grades.  He just kept
> saying, "I don't know.  I don't know."  Then, we got in the car to take
him
> over to his Voc. Ed. class, at another school and he let us know that he
> hates us so much that he'd kill us if he wouldn't go to jail for it.
We've
> let the special Ed. director know of this and she has encouraged us to let
> the probation officer know, but so far, we haven't been able to get hold
of
> her.  Plus, we don't want to be frivolous in our complaints toward Chris
> because she might get sick of us and let him off the hook, so we aren't
> sure what to do at this point.  The probation officer did tell Chris that,
> as of this point, he would never be emancipated so, at least that is
> something.  It was just such an ugly scene.  The probation officer wanted
> to know who chris' friends are and he refused so we had to name
> names.  It's just not good right now.
>         We've also learned two more things that are just making us heart
> sick.  Chris', so called friends, know when pay day is for Chris.  Sure
> enough, on Wednesday, right after getting home from our appointment, a
> friend called wanted to know if Chris wanted to party.  Chris told him no
> because he'd have to play it straight for a while, but then the friend
> offered Chris a ride to go pick up his pay check and then asked Chris if
he
> could lend another kid $25 until Friday.  Yeah, right.  Anyway, Chris
> offers his money liberally to whoever wants, just for rides and who knows
> what else.  Have you ever heard of a more real life version of the
prodigal
> son?
>         The other thing, we just learned last night and this is the most
heart
> breaking part of all.  There is a lady who has a son, Chris's age.  They
> used to be friends and even sat together in church.  I think that I've
> mentioned before that Chris no longer attends church.  I had also
mentioned
> a while back that I was bothered because this other boy appears to really
> want to grow in his faith wile Chris seems determined to run away from it
> as much as he can.  I had been concerned about Chris being a stumbling
> block to the boy.
>         Anyway, after the church break in last month, the two other boys
who were
> with Chris went to this fourth boy's house.  His name is Jeremiah.  There,
> that should make this telling a little easier.  Anyway, Jeremiah didn't
> think that what Chris and these two boys had done at church was right and
> said so.  After the break in, when the other two boys had charges pressed
> against them as well, these two boys stopped associating with Chris
> altogether.  We were thrilled.  A short time later, we got a call from
> Jeremiah's mother saying that a neighbor had just brought over a flier
that
> had been left in his newspaper box that accused Jeremiah of being a child
> molester.  They had signed it with a police officer's name and everything.
>         Jeremiah's mother assured us that she was pretty sure that Chris
had
> nothing to do with it since these other two boys weren't associating with
> him any more.  She called the police, but they are having a hard time
> finding evidence.  Well, last night, while Greg was reviewing Chris's
> messages of the day, we think that we found, not only evidence that can
> help her case, but that implicates Chris in the slander as well.  When we
> present this evidence, Chris will be hit with more charges,.  He will know
> that we have been doing, at least some spying and who knows what he will
do
> then.  Please pray for God's wisdom in all this.  Pray for our protection
> and that we do what is right.
>         You know, in Isaiah 42:16, when the Lord says that he will guide
the blind
> down many paths that they do not know, I had no idea that this was what He
> meant.  We're still praying that we can convince someone that a
residential
> program would be best, if for no other reason then that I need a
> break.  Yesterday, Greg took me out for breakfast, after Chris had
> threatened to kill us.  He was trying to be so sweet, and I just sat there
> blubbering in my coffee.  I'm clinging to the Lord so tightly now and to
> His promise of being a refuge and comfort.  My walk with Him has become so
> incredible, but physically, I struggle.
>         Thanks for letting me go on about this.  Now, I pray that I can
send it
> without messing up.  GRIN!
> God bless,
> Kathy