Wow Rhonda. Think I answered this but if I didn't, I so agree. Guilt and perfectionism really can trip us up. Favorite ploy of the enemy.


----- Original Message -----
From: Rhonda Partain <[log in to unmask]>
To: [log in to unmask]
Date: Sunday, February 22, 2015 7:30 pm
Subject: Re: Lost and Found

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> Great story. I get so mad at myself when I mess things up. One day it was as though God said who said...who said you had to be perfect? It wasn't him. So if God didn't say it, then I shouldn't be concerned.
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> From: The Electronic Church [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Vicki
> Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2015 9:22 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Lost and Found
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> Oh that was too funny Phil. I needed that. Lol!
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> God is absolutely concerned with our day today issues and events.  I heard Joyce Myer say that we don't bring everything to God because we think some things are just too small and we can handle it ourselves.  And he gives us the ability to do that. But her words were more like so we leave the big things to God, the small things to us, when really everything is small to God.  
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> So I share this experience which I think is amazing because of God. Just spilled some vinegar on a counter that shouldn't be cleaned with vinegar. Fortunately it wasn't very much; but on my new counter?  I was worried, more like panicked that I ruined it. Then I slopped both the vinegar and oil on to my new floor and about killed myself cause it was slick. So in case you haven't figured it out. We did some remodelling in the kitchen which desperately needed it. When you change your ways of doing things because you have a different environment, I think it's hard as a blind person to follow new methods. The other ways of doing things are just so easy to go back to. I'd give an example but I'd be writing forever.  So I'm there telling God how I'm trying so hard to not mess up this kitchen and basically lecturing him. Didn't he know I needed his help not to be such a clutz, and why didn't he keep me from making a mess with brand new kitchen.  . After all, I already determined I'd sleep there and cook and prep food outside so it could remain beautiful without spot or blemish.  Our weather didn't provide me the right opportunity to fullfill that resolve however, so I was trying to marinate chicken to cook for chicken tacos and fresh Italian wraps.   Thus the reason for the spill.  So as clearly as I've ever been aware of God's voice, I heard the words calm down. Who's kitchen is it anyway. Then flashed back in my mind some incidents of memories where measuring up and perfection expectations were issues.  I can't totally tell you what I saw in those memories except that the Lord showed me something that never belonged in that situation. The accuser planted a big lie about perfection right there for me to latch on to it and I did exactly just that. But the Lord took the kitchen opportunity to bring healing in only the way that he can. And on top of that help me clean up my accidental spills.  How good is that! And did I feel sorry that I spoke to the God of the universe in that manner? Yes. But he made us for relationship not for robot responses. I asked him to forgive me and you know what? He did.
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> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: Phil Scovell 
> To: [log in to unmask] 
> Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2015 4:44 PM
> Subject: Lost and Found
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> This happened to me back in my mid to late 40s when we started going to a small church of about 30 people only about 5 minutes from our house.  On Wednesday nights, we had a Bible study at church and 6 to 10 people showed up for these.  If we hit 30 on a Sunday morning, we had a big day and Sunday nights were about like Wednesdays in attendance.  I had become accustom to wearing a suit in Bible college, it was required, and then when I quit my job and went on the road, preaching meetings in churches, I always wore a suit.  I don't do it now, due to the fact the church we attend is quite casual, and due to the fact I've lost so much weight, I can't wear my suit any more so I will have to purchase a new one.  Anyway, that background was necessary so you'd understand the story a little better.
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> It was Wednesday evening.  The pastor was going to pick me up on his way to the church.  Sandy was working 3 till midnight back in those days, so she couldn't make the Wednesday night meetings.  I pulled on my suit and once I was dressed, I went to get my cane.  I kept it, back then, behind our bedroom door but it wasn't there.  I then remembered our grandkids had been playing with my white cane the day before so I stopped to try and remember where they had been with it.  I looked everywhere but found nothing.  I was moving my office from a 2-room space built on to the side of our house, into a front bedroom and I had packed everything up into cardboard boxes and set them in the front bedroom.  I was starting to unpack the boxes one at a time but most of them were large and still closed up and sitting all around the front room.  I remembered the grandkids playing in the front bedroom and figured my cane was going to be found in there so I checked.  I had cowboy boots on and my suit and tie and it was mid summer and very hot out.  The front room was probably 100 degrees because I hadn't put the window air conditioner in as of yet.  So, I am in there with the door close, in my heavy suit and tie, cowboy boots, and thrashing around trying to find my cane.  I knew the pastor was going to be honking any minute so I was frantically hunting for that cane.  Where was it anyway?  Didn't God know I needed it for church?  Come on; where is it!  I was sweating and it felt like I was inside an oven.  Still no cane.  It had to be in that room.  I was shoving boxes back by hand and with my foot as I plowed through the room trying to find that cane; God bless it anyway.  I was getting panicky and right down mad about the whole thing; those grandkids should not be playing with their grandpa's cane in the first place.  Spinning around, performing a perfect pirouette, I bent forward, taking a step, to check a part of the room I hadn't checked as of yet.  My foot crashed into a box I had forgotten was there.  It was large and heavy.  Backwards windmilling to try and regain my sudden loss of balance, I plunged head first over the box, landing heavily right on top of it, and due to my sudden forward rush, I nearly somersaulted right over on to my face on the opposite side of the box.  Fortunately, this was before I had chronic back pain and before any back surgery.  Otherwise, I might have really gotten injured from the sudden fall and subsequent crash to the floor.  Needless to say, I was none too happy about the whole thing by this point.  Upon hitting the floor hard and rolling, I said out loud, "God damn it!"  My jaws slammed shut; nearly severing my tongue in the process.  "Oh, no!," I said immediately chastising myself for taking the Lord's name in vane and for something so trivial, too.  I immediately began begging God to forgive me.  In my spiritual and prayerful babbling, listening for the crack of thunder that would be most likely the last thing I ever heard as a Christian, I heard laughter inside of me.  I wasn't laughing; I was mentally blaming myself for being such a poor Christian.  This was someone else laughing and somehow, I recognized His voice.  Jesus said, after the laughter died away, "Did you ever think of asking me to help you find your cane?"  I was dumbfounded.  Why hadn't I thought of that on my own?  Sheepishly, as I lay on the floor, I said, "Jesus, would you forgive me and please help me find my cane."  He said, "Lay your hand down."  I did, and my hand landed flat on my cane as it lay next to me on the floor.
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> Those who are better Christians than I won't appreciate my story, nor what I did, and said.  I didn't like what I said either.  No, the Lord didn't like it at all but he was trying to teach me something.  First, taking His name in vane isn't funny or wise but He is more than big enough to take it.  Additionally, He isn't afraid of me or anyone else.  Secondly, He wanted me to start asking Him for help and stop taking it all upon myself; even in the littlest things.  Let me explain further.
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> I was riding home with a young lady, about 5 years older than I was at the time, from work.  I had a vending stand in the basement of the Denver Public School Administration building in downtown Denver at the time.  I had a customer help me write a request and pin it to the bulletin board of the building for a ride, coming or going or both, with my address on the card.  Cindy McFadden came to the snackbar one day shortly thereafter and introduced herself.  She said she drove right passed my house on her way home and since the building let out just at the time I cleaned up the snackbar and locked everything up for the night, it worked out perfectly for both of us.  About the second time I rode with Cindy, I tried leading her to Christ.  It turned out, she was already born again.  She began going to church with Sandy and I that next Sunday.  She told me about her husband, Ben.  She said he is a construction worker and drives a snow plow for the city and is a tough acting guy and doesn't want to get saved nor go to church with her.  A few weeks passed and Cindy had Sandy and I over for lunch after church to get to know Ben.  I had met him first in a huge snow storm.  Cindy's car broke down as we tried plowing our way through the blizzard on the way home that night so we had to walk to a house with a phone, this was long before cell phones, like in 1973 or so, and Ben came with his own car, picked us up, and leaving their dead car on the street, drove us home.  I think we had 2 feet of snow we were driving in.  Anyhow, going over to Cindy and Ben's house we ate and afterwards, we got to visiting.  Ben was one of those big guys you just couldn't help but like.  I led him to the Lord within minutes and he became very faithful going to church with us every time the doors were opened.  It all was an amazing experience.
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> One day, after dropping off another rider on the way home from work, I asked Cindy how Ben was doing.  She said that he was ok but she gets frustrated with him.  Unfortunately, several years later, Cindy divorced him.  Ben tried winning her back and had really cleaned up his act and was really living for the Lord but Cindy was trapped in another relationship and she just wouldn't let God minister to her with things she was facing in her life.  Anyhow, I asked Cindy what she meant about having problems with Ben's attitude.  She told me he had been working under the hood of his car on the engine the other day and lost his temper when the problem wasn't showing up so he stepped back from the front of the car, looked into the sky, and gave God the finger.  I busted out laughing when she told me because it sounded exactly like what Ben would do.  You see, Ben wanted even God to know he wasn't afraid of anybody or anything.  I think that's why most people swear and cuss in the first place; they are making a statement.  Well, years later, Ben drove 500 miles round trip to see me in western Colorado because Cindy was divorcing him and he was emotionally cracking up because of it.  Ben really loved his wife but the divorce was breaking him.  I told Cindy that God wasn't afraid of Ben or me or anybody else.  Such was the case when I felt head over tea kettle and blamed God for not helping me.  I know most won't believe that God actually laughed, but I've heard him laugh before in my spirit so I know it when I hear it.  Do you?
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> Finally, all circumstances can be turned to good when God is involved and guess what?  He will never leave or forsake you.
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> Phil.
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As Always, Vicki