Hey, Lelia

I wasn't offended by your note and hope you're not offended by my reply.  I
don't understand whether you and Todd are in a house or a hotel or what.  If
you are in a house with other people, such as staying over his parents house
and there is some pressure not to get out of line it's understandable to
stay in the house but in different rooms of course.  And if you are staying
in a hotel where accountability is easier, that's the same deal.  But you
should never stay in the same house alone and without some kind of pressure
not to misbehave.  Just my opinion but it is just too tempting especially
with the wedding so close.  The greatest gift humanity has is to justify
itself in anything it wants to do, and you will eventually justify sleeping
together before marriage if this continues.  Also, I know I'm old fashioned
(and just plain old to hear Kerri say it) but keeping this sort of thing
from happening is more Todd's responsibility than yours as the spiritual
leader of the home.  He is to ensure not only that nothing happens before
the wedding but that there isn't even the appearance that anything untoward
is happening.

Joni Eareckson Tada and her husband Ken were advised even by Christian
friends that because of her disability they should have sex before the
wedding to make sure they could handle whatever it involved or didn't
involve.  But they refused, rightly, saying that they could not as
Christians do what would dishonor CHRIST even if it were for a reason that
seemed right at the time.  The fact is, you're almost married but not
married yet, and right up until the vows are spoken there is the possibility
for the LORD or your common sense to change your mind (not to say that's the
case in your marriage).  Sex, in fact any sexual contact, clouds that
thinking and clogs your ears to the LORD because your hormones are roaring.

As a man I'd like to think I could just "snuggle" and keep sex out of it but
it's not worth the risk and the guilt and, again, the possibility of
misunderstanding some message of something that needs to be straightened out
before the wedding if you're sexually involved.  It's no different than a
man who has been out in the desert suddenly gulping a large amount of water
when he's rescued.  It will hurt him.  He needs to only get the right amount
and at the right time, for his own good.  Tasting before marriage what is
meant only for marriage is deadly and will taint any testimony you have to
future couples who will simply have to get engaged to have sex without
responsibility in that thinking.

So, praying for you, of course, but make sure you and Todd are doing
everything possible to keep yourself accountable and out of trouble or
simply praying won't work.  The temptation to lay on hands in prayer is just
too strong.  Smile.

Lion who has been there