JulieMelton
visit me at
www.heart-and-music.com
Keep smiling!
----- Original Message -----
From: "bea furman" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 8:45 PM
Subject: Fw: voices, humor
> Lol.
>
> Bea.
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Marcia Moses" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <Undisclosed-Recipient:;>
> Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 2:31 PM
> Subject: voices, humor
>
>
> > Top Reasons for Being a Tenor:
> >>
> >> -Tenors get high without drugs.
> >>
> >> -Name a musical where the bass got the girl.
> >>
> >> -You can show the sopranos how it SHOULD be sung.
> >>
> >> -Did you ever hear of anyone paying $1000 for a ticket to see The
> >> Three Basses?
> >>
> >> -Who needs brains when you've got resonance?
> >>
> >> -Tenors never have to waste time looking through the self-improvement
> >> section of the bookstore.
> >>
> >> -When you get really good at falsetto, you can make tons of money
> >> doing voice-overs for cartoon characters.
> >>
> >> -Gregorian chant was practically invented for tenors. Nobody invented
> >> a genre for basses.
> >>
> >> Top Reasons for Being a Bass:
> >>
> >> -You don't have to tighten your shorts to reach your note.
> >>
> >> -You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.
> >>
> >> -Or a pre adolescent boy.
> >>
> >> -Action heroes are always basses. That is, if they ever sang, they
> >> would sing bass.
> >>
> >> -You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop (boong
> >> ching ... boong chi-ching).
> >>
> >> -If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always broadcasting.
> >>
> >> -You never need to learn to read the treble clef.
> >>
> >> -It doesn't matter much if you get a cold.
> >>
> >> -For fun, you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool people
> >> into thinking there's an earthquake.
> >>
> >> -If you burp while you're singing, the audience just thinks it's part
> >> of the score.
> >>
> >> Top Ten Reasons for Being a Soprano:
> >>
> >> -The rest of the choir exists just to make you look good.
> >>
> >> -Can you name an opera where an alto got the man?
> >>
> >> -When sopranos sing in the shower, they know the tune.
> >>
> >> -You are never going to sing the alto part by accident.
> >>
> >> -Great costumes: like the hat with the horns on it.
> >>
> >> -How many world famous altos can you name?
> >>
> >> -When the fat lady sings, she's usually singing soprano.
> >>
> >> -When you get tired of the tune, you can sing the descant.
> >>
> >> Top Ten Reasons for Being an Alto:
> >>
> >> -You get really good at singing E flat.
> >>
> >> -You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive measures. tang ...
> >> tang ... tang ...)
> >>
> >> -No warm up needed to sing 12 consecutive bars of E flat.
> >>
> >> -If the choir really stinks, it's unlikely the altos will be blamed.
> >>
> >> -You have lots of time to chat during soprano solos.
> >>
> >> -You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos, because
> >> everybody knows that women only sing soprano so they don't have to
> >> learn to read music.
> >>
> >> -You can sometimes find part time work singing tenor.
> >>
> >> -Altos get all the great intervals.
> >>
> >> -When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note at the end
> >> of an anthem, the altos always get the last words.
> >>
> >> -When the altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.
> >>
> >
> >
>
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