It seems like a lot of people are doing just that this year.  It seems that
in generations past, all the gatherings and big meals were just continued
for the sake of tradition, but if you dug down a little deeper, you found
there wasn't really a close-knit family.  We used to go to my brother's
house on Thanksgiving, but then a couple years ago my brother mentioned in
passing that his wife was really irritated at all the work she had to do on
the holidays and why didn't we do some, etc., even though we'd asked her
what we could bring and she said nothing and that she was happy to host the
meal, etc.  Last year she was out of town and was scheduled to come home
just a couple days before Thanksgiving.  We thought we'd help out and go
ahead and host the meal last year.  We told my brother, and he said, "Are
you going to have ham sandwiches?  That's what you always have when we come
over."  (We've never had ham sandwiches when we've done Thanksgiving,
although on many other holidays we have a plate of sandwich fixings and let
people make their own sandwiches.)  When my sister-in-law got back into
town, we told her we'd decided to have Thanksgiving at our house, and
invited them over.  She said her father and his wife didn't have anywhere
to go on Thanksgiving so she was going to have them over, and we were
welcome to come over if we wanted to.  We'd already bought the food for
Thanksgiving, so we each had our own celebrations.  This year neither of us
has asked the other what we're doing for Thanksgiving, even though we've
communicated about other things.  I'm just as happy.  It's a relief not to
have to play the holiday game, and for each of us just to do what feels
right.  We thought of going to my mom's nursing home's Thanksgiving dinner,
but my mom's not really with it, and probably wouldn't realize we were
there, and really isn't capable of carrying on a conversation.  So we might
just get a turkey, or maybe one of those dinners from Safeway or some other
grocery store that you just heat and serve.  I'd rather have the meal be
simple and the time for thankfulness be sincere, than to have an elaborate
meal where everyone's stressed and we eat ourselves into indigestion.  <smile>

Peggy

Dilbert's Words of Wisdom: Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars
in the sky and I thought to myself,  "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
At 03:32 PM 11/21/2004, you wrote:
>Rhonda,
>
>As much as I hate to say it, sometimes spending holidays with the family, is
>the last thing a person wants to do.  I understand why you are staying at
>home and I'd do the same thing.
>
>Phil.