Chris,

Having children doesn't make your marriage relationship any easier.  In
fact, it makes it much more stressful.  Children, due to no fault of their
own of course, can rip a marriage apart so fast, it is rediculous.  Talking
and planning and discussing, and most of all, praying about having children
should take a very long time.  The longer you wait, the better prepared you
are to have children.  Let me put it to you this way.  When you have
children, the truth is, since they cannot care for themselves, and society
expects parents to be the care givers of their own offspring, the kids come
first.  This does not mean, of course, the marriage comes second.  It means
what it says, that is, the kids come first.  This alone rips and tears at a
marriage relationship like a wild animal at times.  You have years ahead of
you and you and your wife need to get to know each other a million times
better before you really want children.  Keep in mind, once you have them,
you can't send them back and believe you me, you will have times you wish
you could.  So, buddy, think and pray and put it off.  Like Rhonda said,
children don't solve problems but they do create them.  You guys have lots
of time to make babies but don't jump the gun on me here with this one, pal,
or I'm coming down there to whup you good.  Let me ask you this question,
Chris.  Have you already decided, since you've been married, that you can
give up sex for periods of time and sometimes long periods of time?  What's
that have to do with it, you may ask.  I'm glad you asked because, pal of
mine, it means that babies take a lot of motherly work.  Dad's sit around
and complain about having to baby sit while mom's do everything else.  This
means that moms are dead dog tired by night time.  When little junior gets a
little older, try making love in the middle of the day and see how many
times you get interrupted.  A woman's hormones change when she is pregnant
and after the baby is born.  sometimes sex isn't all that appealing due to
the stress and the caring for the baby.  And wait till you change that dirty
diaper the first time out and I am not referring to the wet ones either.
The dad's part comes a little later when they are old enough to talk and
play.  So, don't let this one accidently slip by you, Chris.

Phil.



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