Matt,

I'll be in the minority on this one so take my free advice for what it is
worth and that's free.  Your mother is right.  Your brother, or was it your
brother in law, I forget now, hasn't proven himself yet.  A Doper's word
isn't worth spit, I know, I have a daughter for one.  That little girl
probably feels safe with grandma and like your mom said, they've bonded.  I
wouldn't let that little girl near her father.  She needs security and
grandma gives that to her.  The worst think her mom could do is turn that
little four year old over to her dumb butt dad with a different mom and new
brother and sister who she doesn't even know.  Let him prove himself.  I
pray your grandma has legal guardianship so nobody can try and take her away
from grandma.  Listen to your mother on this one, Matt.  He had his chance.
Let him wait now and prove he is a man now.  I wonder if he has supported
his little girl all these years your old mother has been caring for her?  My
daughter is in my house right now to spend the night with her boys we have.
I refuse to allow her to live here.  In fact, in the mornings, she tries
sleeping till 2 in the afternoon.  We make her get up and she leaves about 9
to go to a friend's house she lives with to sleep all day.  Some mother.
She has not given me a penny in over a year to help feed or care for her 8
and 4 year old boys.  She made 72 dollars last year working.  She is never
getting her 8 year old back from me until she has lived long enough to prove
she isn't stupid any longer.  By then he won't want to live with her.

Phil.