Hi Lelia,

	I'm sorry that you are going through this.  I do, however, have 
something to say, that may not sit well, but it is meant in love, so 
please take it in that context from the outset.

	I know that you are upset with Tod's parents.  That is 
understandable.  It's worse to be treated this way in your own home, 
where you really can't get away.  However, in my opinion, which has 
gotten me in trouble before on this list, your problem is more with 
Tod than them.  When they offered to buy him the computer, in my 
opinion, if he had self respect, he should have said, "no thank 
you."  Parents buy computers for little boys, not for full grown 
independent men.  Also, Tod should have known that you could be very 
knowledgeable about speech and so forth so that when the parents 
suggested going on line to do research, Tod could have spoken up and 
said, "that's okay, Lelia can help me," or even better, he could have 
turned to you and said, "Hey Lelia, what do you think we should 
do?"  He could have demonstrated his independence and raise you at 
the same time in his parents' eyes.  I don't think that your problem 
is going to lesson until Tod can stand in the gap for you against them.

I'd better not go any further.  I may have said too much 
already.  It's the Dr. Laura in me, I guess.  GRIN!

	Just in case you're wondering, this can happen with sighted people 
too.  When I married Greg, my family didn't think much of him because 
he wasn't a hunter or blue collar worker.  They couldn't see how in 
the world Greg could ever provide for me with his nose stuck in a 
book all the time.  I had to stand in the gap for Greg often, against 
my family.  They didn't like it, but too bad.
	My grandfather on my mother's side was a pastor before he died.  He 
passed away in 1948 and I wasn't born until 1960, so he never knew of 
me and certainly didn't know Greg.  When Greg finally headed for 
seminary in 1992, my father finally said to him that they believed 
that Greg was the answer to my grandfather's prayers.  See, when my 
grandfather was dying, his main concern was, who will carry on in 
ministry for this family?
	Finally, this past  fall, when my sister came out to visit us and 
heard Greg preach, she admitted during the prayer time that she was 
very proud of Greg and what he is doing and then she broke down in 
tears.  We've been married for 25 years, so you know that that 
complement was a long time in coming.  It says something that the 
family wanted Greg to participate in my Dad's funeral.
	All this is just meant to say, Lelia, it may not be you at all.  It 
may be Tod's family dynamic, it may be Tod, not quite ready to cut 
the apron strings completely, or it may be his parents holding on 
more tightly than is healthy.  Probably, it's a little of all 
three.  You just keep being sweet and as independent as 
possible.  Don't act like a victim.  That will make you a 
target.  And just remember, it's what, 72 hours and 
counting?  GRIN!  This too shall pass.  Why don't you plan a great 
romantic dinner with tod to celebrate when they have left 
again.  That should help the time fly a little, maybe?
	I realize that I could be way off base here, so, if so, 
sorry.  However, one more thing that could work for next time is if 
you and Tod establish ground rules, ahead of time, before their next 
visit about what kinds of things are acceptable and what isn't,  and 
if they can't respect both of your boundries, suggest postponing the 
visit until they can.  Just a last thought.
God bless,
Kathy