Hi, Jen,
Some thoughts come to mind here. So I apologize in advance if I get long
winded in my rambling.
I can understand why you might feel hurt that people think the devil will
win. And I'm sorry for any hurt caused. In the end, what ever decision you
guys make is ultimately between you two and the Lord. Certainly nobody
doubts your word of vowing to one another to remain pure while living
together before marriage, if that's what you choose to do. On the other
hand, just something to point out, I don't think Christians who marry one
another marry each other intending to break their wedding vows; not the ones
they make before one another, in front of God and everybody. And how often
do we see infidelity and divorce even among christians. And that's in the
marriage itself. Generally a couple marry intending to be true to one
another til death due us part.
I know no one here intended to cause you extra worry or pain. As is pretty
much true on this list and has been for a long time, people love you here
and are expressing honest, genuine concern.
If any of us put something out for discussion, here, including me, we can't
always control the responses that come back to us whether we agree with them
or disagree. Remember that there are those here who by experience, both
good and bad, share their counsel, and are qualified to do so. It's very
easy when in love to be very vulnerable emotionally. That can be a good
thing too. This isn't the first time this topic has come up on this list
where people have had to make choices about living together before marriage
given their individual circumstances and I doubt it will be the last. I'm
not saying that your situation isn't unique, but it appears more often than
you think, especially when it is the more common day practice for people to
live together from both christians and non-christians. And it's accepted in
the world.
So, go to the Lord and ask him what he thinks. He'll show you if you allow
him. And I know that you will. Your heart is tender toward him.
I had a pastor once who when he taught, and he used to teach on some pretty
controversial things, he always said, eat the fish and spit out the bones.
So if there have been any bones in our counsel offered here among the fish,
hopefully they are soft ones, just spit them out. But know our hearts are
in the right direction. Jen, we want to see you get absolutely God's best
for you before and after your marriage.
We're excited with and for you. And we're praying with and for you.
Blessings,
Vicki
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jenifer Barr" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 7:36 PM
Subject: Re: [ECHURCH-USA] question, problem, and prayer request.
> what is a vow between god and two people? If we have vowed before God and
> each other that sex will not occur until marriage, then why is living
> together a sin? We are not intimate until then. I understand about
> temptation but that's when you pray every day that God keeps you strong.
>
> Our situation is unique and it's not like we haven't prayed about it. I
> guess I'm just hurt because everyone seems to think that just because
we're
> going to be living together the devel is going to win. God is the only
one
> in control. Is this our ideal situation? no. I've been through too much
> in the past to know what temptation can do to someone... and i... or yet
> we... will not break our vow before god.
>
> Jenifer Barr.
> When the trumpet blows... I'm outta here!
> AIM: jenibear1998
> msn
> [log in to unmask]
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 2:06 PM
> Subject: Re: question, problem, and prayer request.
>
>
> > Hey Jen,
> > First of all, I'm sorry that you are dealing with an inflexible
> > pastor. I don't see what difference it makes to him whether the
cerimony
> > is big or small, before or after the civil cerimony. I suppose that he
is
> > standing on something for theological reasons, but I have no clue what
> > that
> > would be. It seems to me that you are left with three options: switch
> > pastors, move the wedding up, or leave things as they are and trust God
> > for a miracle. As a child of God, the one option that you don't have,
is
> > to move in together. If you begin your marriage by compromising your
> > principles on something that is truly small in the grand scheme of
> > things,
> > how can you be trusted for the bigger ones. Believe me, the one thing
> > that
> > I am learning about our heavenly Father is that he is extremely creative
> > in
> > the solution department. We often miss it because we get so stuck in
> > thinking that the only solutions available to us are the ones that we
can
> > see and we shut the door on His creativity. This is a test. This is
only
> > a test. The question is, will you trust Him and wait for His solution
and
> > timing or will you continue to see with earthly eyes only what is
> > possible. Good luck on your adventure. He is faithful. Your task is
to
> > remain patient and at peace! GRIN!
> > Kathy
> >
> >
> >
> > At 05:17 PM 7/18/2005, you wrote:
> >>Hi all. As most of you know, i am getting married in november. I found
> >>out
> >>today from work that they want me to transfer in the beginning of
august.
> >>I
> >>can't tell them i won't transfer then because it is the end of our
fiscal
> >>year august 31 and i could forfit my job. Problem is though, that my
> >>fiancee and I decided that to save money... if i had to move in
september
> >>or
> >>october we would just live together until the wedding. We both don't
> >>really
> >>like the idea but it's like we have no choice. I don't know what to do.
> >>I'm so confused... i don't know what is right and wrong. Both my
fiancee
> >>and I are born-again Christians, we will in no way have sex before
> >>marriage
> >>so if we made/make that pledge to god is living together before marriage
a
> >>sin? Is it wrong? And what do i do if it is? I know of other
christian
> >>couples who have lived together before marriage. I am just so scattered
> >>right now. Please pray for clarity for me? And above all, pray Gods
will
> >>be done.
> >>I love you all.
> >>Jenifer Barr.
> >>When the trumpet blows... I'm outta here!
> >>AIM: jenibear1998
> >>msn
> >>[log in to unmask]
> >
>
|
