I think Chris has a problem with desiring someone who is honest. His
girlfriend lied to him concerning her faithfulness, then she lied about not
quitting smoking, and he didn't end the relationship. Rather he condones
her dishonesty. When you monitor him and are not telling him are you not
being dishonest with him? He is nearly grown and it is alarming honesty
isn't more of an issue with him than it seems to be. I monitor my son's
conversations at home but I tell him I am doing this because I pay the cost
to be the boss and while he lives under my roof and is a minor his calls
will be periodically monitored. I have never been dishonest with my son
even though he has been dishonest with me. He knows I will call his friends
parents and find what he has been doing. I never go back on my word even
though I may wish I could do so later.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Cindy H" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, July 29, 2005 5:34 PM
Subject: Re: What should I do? A parenting question.
> --0-690472214-1122672878=:45908
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>
> I do think you should fill in his therapist, and let the therapist know
that you are for the moment, not letting Chris know that you know.
>
> cindy
>
> Kathy Du Bois <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Thanks Cindy,
> That's kind of where I am headed, thinking wise right now. I did talk to
> one person here and she informed me that this is a behavior that falls
> under mandated reporting, but I'm not sure that that is the right thing
> either. Greg is leaning toward confronting Chris and reporting it, but he
> is respecting my caution and we are both still praying.
> Kathy
>
>
> At 06:28 PM 7/28/2005, you wrote:
> >--0-1691572566-1122589715=:97433
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> >
> >as much as it kills you to do it....step back and pray. pray for both,
> >that God would continue to move on that girl's heart, she is apparantly
> >being touched in some way, and that God would use that, to soften Chris's
> >heart towards the Lord.
> >
> >Then after you pray, and you know that God wants you to say something,
> >then say it...but if you go back and forth on it...then don't...God will
> >tell you clear when its time to step in.
> >
> >cindy
> >
> >Kathy Du Bois wrote:
> >Okay guys,
> >Yes, this is a Chris question. I would appreciate some advice. Okay,
> >yesterday, Chris's girl friend told him that she cheated on him while he
> >was in jail last spring. I learned this through monitering, of
> >course. Chris has not talked to me directly. Chris was so upset that he
> >slashed a wrist, I believe only slightly. He told her about that too, so
> >I'm asuming that it was an attention ploy of some sort. Chris has also
> >encouraged her to give up smoking, and she admitted to him yesterday that
> >she has been lying to him about having quit as well. Chris, rather than
> >encouraging her to continue trying to quit, is offering to share
cigarettes
> >with her so that she won't feel bad. Chris had already given up smoking,
> >but he's willing to go back to it for her. He's looking like such a
> >pathetic and clingy person right now that it makes me sick.
> >On Tuesday night, Nicki found one of those tracts on her porch that looks
> >like a one hundred dollar bill, but has the plan of salvation on it. She
> >started reading it to Chris and getting convicted about her life, but
chris
> >tried to assure her that sin isn't her fault, but Adam and Eve's fault
and
> >she doesn't have to worry. She felt better after he told her this, but
> >still made these confessions yesterday. I believe that Nicki's heart may
> >be growing tender toward the Lord, but I don't know what to do besides
pray
> >and I don't know if I should talk to Chris directly about what I know and
> >try to help him or just tell the therapist and let him try to help Chris
in
> >a more objective setting. Chris wore a long sleaved shirt today. I don't
> >think that he wanted us to know anything, just her, about his wrist, that
> >is. Guys, I am in such unfamiliar territory right now that I just don't
> >know what to do, which means that I'd better not do anything with out a
lot
> >of counsel from other mature Christians. What would you do?
> >Kathy
> >
> >
> > Your White Lily Candle consultant!
> >**Want to know what a day in Heaven is like? Then come to
> >www.heavenscented.com
> >-They may forget what you did but they will never forget how you made
them
> >feel.--Carl Buechner
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >--0-1691572566-1122589715=:97433
> >Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1
> >Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
> >
> >as much as it kills you to do it....step back and pray. pray for
> >both, that God would continue to move on that girl's heart, she is
> >apparantly being touched in some way, and that God would use that, to
> >soften Chris's heart towards the Lord.
>
> >
>
> >Then after you pray, and you know that God wants you to say
> >something, then say it...but if you go back and forth on it...then
> >don't...God will tell you clear when its time to step in.
>
> >
>
> >cindy
>
> Kathy Du Bois <[log in to unmask]>
> >wrote:
>
> >Okay guys,
> Yes, this is a Chris
> >question. I would appreciate some advice. Okay,
> yesterday, Chris's girl
> >friend told him that she cheated on him while he
> was in jail last
> >spring. I learned this through monitering, of
> course. Chris has not
> >talked to me directly. Chris was so upset that he
> slashed a wrist, I
> >believe only slightly. He told her about that too, so
> I'm asuming that
> >it was an attention ploy of some sort. Chris has also
> encouraged her to
> >give up smoking, and she admitted to him yesterday that
> she has been
> >lying to him about having quit as well. Chris, rather than
> encouraging
> >her to continue trying to quit, is offering to share cigarettes
> with
> >her so that she won't feel bad. Chris had already given up smoking,
> but
> >he's willing to go back to it for her. He's looking like such
> >a
> pathetic and clingy person right now that it makes me sick.
> On
> > Tuesday night, Nicki found one of those tracts on her porch that
> > looks
> like a one hundred dollar bill, but has the plan of salvation on
> > it. She
> started reading it to Chris and getting convicted about her
> > life, but chris
> tried to assure her that sin isn't her fault, but Adam
> > and Eve's fault and
> she doesn't have to worry. She felt better after
> > he told her this, but
> still made these confessions yesterday. I
> > believe that Nicki's heart may
> be growing tender toward the Lord, but
> > I don't know what to do besides pray
> and I don't know if I should talk
> > to Chris directly about what I know and
> try to help him or just tell
> > the therapist and let him try to help Chris in
> a more objective
> > setting. Chris wore a long sleaved shirt today. I don't
> think that he
> > wanted us to know anything, just her, about his wrist, that
> is. Guys,
> > I am in such unfamiliar territory right now that I just don't
> know
> > what to do, which means that I'd better not do anything with out a
> > lot
> of counsel from other mature Christians. What would you
> > do?
> Kathy
>
>
>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >>face="arial black"> Your White Lily Candle
> >consultant!
>
> >>face="arial black">**Want to know what a day in
> >Heaven is like? Then come to
>
> >>href="http://www.heavenscented.com/">www.heavenscented.com
>
> >>size=5>-They may forget what you did but they will never forget how you
> >made them feel.--Carl
> >Buechner
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> >--0-1691572566-1122589715=:97433--
>
>
> Your White Lily Candle consultant!
> **Want to know what a day in Heaven is like? Then come to
> www.heavenscented.com
> -They may forget what you did but they will never forget how you made them
feel.--Carl Buechner
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> --0-690472214-1122672878=:45908
> Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso-8859-1
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
>
> <DIV>I do think you should fill in his therapist, and let the therapist
know that you are for the moment, not letting Chris know that you
know.</DIV>
> <DIV> </DIV>
> <DIV>cindy<BR><BR><B><I>Kathy Du Bois <[log in to unmask]></I></B>
wrote:</DIV>
> <BLOCKQUOTE class=replbq style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px;
BORDER-LEFT: #1010ff 2px solid">Thanks Cindy,<BR>That's kind of where I am
headed, thinking wise right now. I did talk to<BR>one person here and she
informed me that this is a behavior that falls<BR>under mandated reporting,
but I'm not sure that that is the right thing<BR>either. Greg is leaning
toward confronting Chris and reporting it, but he<BR>is respecting my
caution and we are both still praying.<BR>Kathy<BR><BR><BR>At 06:28 PM
7/28/2005, you
wrote:<BR>>--0-1691572566-1122589715=:97433<BR>>Content-Type:
text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1<BR>>Content-Transfer-Encoding:
8bit<BR>><BR>>as much as it kills you to do it....step back and pray.
pray for both,<BR>>that God would continue to move on that girl's heart,
she is apparantly<BR>>being touched in some way, and that God would use
that, to soften Chris's<BR>>heart towards the Lord.<BR>><BR>>Then
after you pray, and you know that God
> wants you to say something,<BR>>then say it...but if you go back and
forth on it...then don't...God will<BR>>tell you clear when its time to
step in.<BR>><BR>>cindy<BR>><BR>>Kathy Du Bois
<[log in to unmask]>wrote:<BR>>Okay guys,<BR>>Yes, this is a Chris
question. I would appreciate some advice. Okay,<BR>>yesterday, Chris's
girl friend told him that she cheated on him while he<BR>>was in jail
last spring. I learned this through monitering, of<BR>>course. Chris has
not talked to me directly. Chris was so upset that he<BR>>slashed a
wrist, I believe only slightly. He told her about that too, so<BR>>I'm
asuming that it was an attention ploy of some sort. Chris has
also<BR>>encouraged her to give up smoking, and she admitted to him
yesterday that<BR>>she has been lying to him about having quit as well.
Chris, rather than<BR>>encouraging her to continue trying to quit, is
offering to share cigarettes<BR>>with her so that she won't feel
> bad. Chris had already given up smoking,<BR>>but he's willing to go
back to it for her. He's looking like such a<BR>>pathetic and clingy
person right now that it makes me sick.<BR>>On Tuesday night, Nicki found
one of those tracts on her porch that looks<BR>>like a one hundred dollar
bill, but has the plan of salvation on it. She<BR>>started reading it to
Chris and getting convicted about her life, but chris<BR>>tried to assure
her that sin isn't her fault, but Adam and Eve's fault and<BR>>she
doesn't have to worry. She felt better after he told her this,
but<BR>>still made these confessions yesterday. I believe that Nicki's
heart may<BR>>be growing tender toward the Lord, but I don't know what to
do besides pray<BR>>and I don't know if I should talk to Chris directly
about what I know and<BR>>try to help him or just tell the therapist and
let him try to help Chris in<BR>>a more objective setting. Chris wore a
long sleaved shirt today. I
> don't<BR>>think that he wanted us to know anything, just her, about
his wrist, that<BR>>is. Guys, I am in such unfamiliar territory right now
that I just don't<BR>>know what to do, which means that I'd better not do
anything with out a lot<BR>>of counsel from other mature Christians. What
would you do?<BR>>Kathy<BR>><BR>><BR>> Your White Lily Candle
consultant!<BR>>**Want to know what a day in Heaven is like? Then come
to<BR>>www.heavenscented.com<BR>>-They may forget what you did but
they will never forget how you made them<BR>>feel.--Carl
Buechner<BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>><BR>
>--0-1691572566-1122589715=:97433<BR>>Content-Type: text/html;
charset=iso-8859-1<BR>>Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit<BR>><BR>>
> <DIV>as much as it kills you to do it....step back and pray. pray
for<BR>>both, that God would continue to move on that girl's heart, she
is<BR>>apparantly being touched in some way, and that God would use that,
to<BR>>soften Chris's heart towards the Lord. </DIV><BR>>
> <DIV> </DIV><BR>>
> <DIV>Then after you pray, and you know that God wants you to
say<BR>>something, then say it...but if you go back and forth on
it...then<BR>>don't...God will tell you clear when its time to step in.
</DIV><BR>>
> <DIV> </DIV><BR>>
> <DIV>cindy<BR><BR><B><I>Kathy Du Bois
<[log in to unmask]></I></B><BR>>wrote:</DIV><BR>>
> <BLOCKQUOTE class=replbq style="PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; br:
#1010ff 2px solid">Okay guys,<BR>Yes, this is a Chris<BR>>question. I
would appreciate some advice. Okay,<BR>yesterday, Chris's girl<BR>>friend
told him that she cheated on him while he<BR>was in jail last<BR>>spring.
I learned this through monitering, of<BR>course. Chris has not<BR>>talked
to me directly. Chris was so upset that he<BR>slashed a wrist,
I<BR>>believe only slightly. He told her about that too, so<BR>I'm
asuming that<BR>>it was an attention ploy of some sort. Chris has
also<BR>encouraged her to<BR>>give up smoking, and she admitted to him
yesterday that<BR>she has been<BR>>lying to him about having quit as
well. Chris, rather than<BR>encouraging<BR>>her to continue trying to
quit, is offering to share cigarettes<BR>with<BR>>her so that she won't
feel bad. Chris had already given up smoking,<BR>but<BR>>he's willing to
go back to it for her. He's looking like
> such<BR>>a<BR>pathetic and clingy person right now that it makes me
sick.<BR>On<BR>> Tuesday night, Nicki found one of those tracts on her
porch that<BR>> looks<BR>like a one hundred dollar bill, but has the plan
of salvation on<BR>> it. She<BR>started reading it to Chris and getting
convicted about her<BR>> life, but chris<BR>tried to assure her that sin
isn't her fault, but Adam<BR>> and Eve's fault and<BR>she doesn't have to
worry. She felt better after<BR>> he told her this, but<BR>still made
these confessions yesterday. I<BR>> believe that Nicki's heart may<BR>be
growing tender toward the Lord, but<BR>> I don't know what to do besides
pray<BR>and I don't know if I should talk<BR>> to Chris directly about
what I know and<BR>try to help him or just tell<BR>> the therapist and
let him try to help Chris in<BR>a more objective<BR>> setting. Chris wore
a long sleaved shirt today. I don't<BR>think that he<BR>> wanted us to
know anything, just
> her, about his wrist, that<BR>is. Guys,<BR>> I am in such unfamiliar
territory right now that I just don't<BR>know<BR>> what to do, which
means that I'd better not do anything with out a<BR>> lot<BR>of counsel
from other mature Christians. What would you<BR>>
do?<BR>Kathy<BR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR><BR>
> <DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><BR>>
> <DIV align=center><BR>>
> <DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><FONT face=system color=#57708f><FONT face=Arial><FONT
size=5><FONT<BR>>face="arial black"><FONT color=#7f007f> Your
White Lily
Candle<BR>>consultant!</FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><FONT face=system color=#57708f><FONT face=Arial><FONT
size=5><FONT<BR>>face="arial black"><FONT color=#7f007f>**</FONT>Want
to know what a day in<BR>>Heaven is like? Then come to</FONT>
</FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><FONT color=#57708f
size=5><A<BR>>href="http://www.heavenscented.com/">www.heavenscented.c
om</A> </FONT></DIV><BR>>
> <DIV><FONT face=system color=#57708f><FONT face="arial narrow"
<br>>size=5>-They may forget what you did but they will never forget
how you<BR>>made them
feel.--Carl<BR>>Buechner<BR></FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV><
/DIV></DIV><BR>>--0-1691572566-1122589715=:97433--<BR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR><B
R><DIV>
> <DIV>
> <DIV align=center>
> <DIV>
> <DIV>
> <DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=system color=#57708f><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=5><FONT
face="arial black"><FONT color=#7f007f> Your White Lily Candle
consultant!</FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=system color=#57708f><FONT face=Arial><FONT size=5><FONT
face="arial black"><FONT color=#7f007f>**</FONT>Want to know what a day in
Heaven is like? Then come to</FONT> </FONT></FONT></FONT></DIV>
> <DIV><FONT color=#57708f size=5><A
href="http://www.heavenscented.com/">www.heavenscented.com</A> </FONT></DIV>
> <DIV><FONT face=system color=#57708f><FONT face="arial narrow"
size=5>-They may forget what you did but they will never forget how you made
them feel.--Carl
Buechner<BR></FONT></DIV></FONT></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV></DIV>
> --0-690472214-1122672878=:45908--
|
