Phil, Chris, and Everyone,

Wow! That's like hitting the nail on the head. We don't have kids, but I do
believe that what you said is totally true.

Chris, What if you have kids, and you get really depressed, and they need
attention. You can't just ignore them.

I think what Phil said here is so excellent.

Blessings,
Pat Ferguson



At 12:16 AM 2/15/05, you wrote:
>Chris,
>
>Having children doesn't make your marriage relationship any easier.  In
>fact, it makes it much more stressful.  Children, due to no fault of their
>own of course, can rip a marriage apart so fast, it is rediculous.  Talking
>and planning and discussing, and most of all, praying about having children
>should take a very long time.  The longer you wait, the better prepared you
>are to have children.  Let me put it to you this way.  When you have
>children, the truth is, since they cannot care for themselves, and society
>expects parents to be the care givers of their own offspring, the kids come
>first.  This does not mean, of course, the marriage comes second.  It means
>what it says, that is, the kids come first.  This alone rips and tears at a
>marriage relationship like a wild animal at times.  You have years ahead of
>you and you and your wife need to get to know each other a million times
>better before you really want children.  Keep in mind, once you have them,
>you can't send them back and believe you me, you will have times you wish
>you could.  So, buddy, think and pray and put it off.  Like Rhonda said,
>children don't solve problems but they do create them.  You guys have lots
>of time to make babies but don't jump the gun on me here with this one, pal,
>or I'm coming down there to whup you good.  Let me ask you this question,
>Chris.  Have you already decided, since you've been married, that you can
>give up sex for periods of time and sometimes long periods of time?  What's
>that have to do with it, you may ask.  I'm glad you asked because, pal of
>mine, it means that babies take a lot of motherly work.  Dad's sit around
>and complain about having to baby sit while mom's do everything else.  This
>means that moms are dead dog tired by night time.  When little junior gets a
>little older, try making love in the middle of the day and see how many
>times you get interrupted.  A woman's hormones change when she is pregnant
>and after the baby is born.  sometimes sex isn't all that appealing due to
>the stress and the caring for the baby.  And wait till you change that dirty
>diaper the first time out and I am not referring to the wet ones either.
>The dad's part comes a little later when they are old enough to talk and
>play.  So, don't let this one accidently slip by you, Chris.
>
>Phil.
>
>
>
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