<lol> Too funny!
On 8/28/2021 3:53 PM, Sharon Hooley wrote:
> I wana make some noise around here. This is an article I wrote.
>
>
> A Vending Machine in the gymnasium?!
> By Sharon Hooley
>
> There's a recreation center in town with a vending machine in the gym.
> But don't despair too much, as there's no need to feel quite as guilty
> as you would with a regular kind. Dr. Kandace Vendaweit, a fitness
> coach as well as a programming engineer, has invented an unusual
> contraption with handles, levers and pedals that surround the money slot
> so closely as to make it harder to find and use. There is also what
> appears to be a stair stepper toward the bottom below the chutes the
> change and goodies drop into. So how does it work?
>
> For the first time, and with trepidation, you manage to insert your $1
> bill into the slot and select a Snickers candy bar. When the next
> screen pops up you realize that there's an onboard screen reader with
> every imaginable format so anyone can read the messages…
>
> “So, you really want that candy bar, do you?" You hear what you surmize
> is the recorded taunting voice of Dr. Vendaweit herself. "Well, in order
> to get it, you must do the following: Now, I always keep track of
> everything you do with me, and I went out of my way to provide every
> possible means for you to understand clearly what I say, so there’s
> absolutely no excuse, unless you want to leave your change behind!…
>
> "Let us begin now. Pump the top two levers up and down for 5 minutes"...
>
> "Now, push and pull the two weighted handles below for 10 minutes"...
>
> "Now, cycle the pedals with your arms for 15 minutes. They're located
> just above the chutes."...
>
> "Now, use the stair-stepper that’s below the chutes for 20 minutes"…
>
> "Now, do a kick boxing practice session against the left and right side
> panels"…”
>
> Suddenly, and to your immense relief, you hear the all-too-familiar
> thump and clang. "There's your Snickers Bar!" she says in an overly
> cheerful tone. "I suppose I could have added a scale for you to stepp
> on to finally get the candy out, but then wouldn’t that be pointless?
> “Don’t forget your change… of diet next time!”
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