Dear Kathy,

Please know that I'm praying for you and your family. You are so loving!
You just need lots of those lovings and squeezings right now. I know how
you are feeling.

I'm praying for you. Take comfort in knowing that Jesus loves you, and he
will always be there for you. I wish I could wipe away your tears when you
cry. I still cry very often, too. So many things in life hurt, and we just
have to give these hurts to The Lord. I have tears in my eyes as I'm
writing this.

Love you,
Pat Ferguson


At 07:48 AM 7/1/05, you wrote:
>Oh Guys,
>         Life can be so wild.  Last night we got a call from our son
> Matthew.  He
>is being evicted from his college housing today because he is no longer
>enrolled.  We knew that he would have to leave in August, but we had hoped
>that, by then, he would have a full time job and a new place to stay so
>that he could continue to make a life for himself in Grand Rapids.  Well,
>he's packing everything up and storing it at a friend's house and will be
>boarding a bus for Maine this afternoon.  We'll have to move the computer
>downstairs so that the office can become what it was originally intended to
>be, a fourth bedroom.  Since Chris didn't get home until after midnight
>last night, he doesn't know yet, but it won't be pretty when he finds out.
>         Chris has been doing okay with us this week.  He had a job
> interview at
>McDonalds on Monday, but he hasn't heard anything.  Actually, I'm thinking
>that he may not get the job because he was asked about his grades, which
>aren't good.  I could be wrong, but I think that I heard somewhere that
>McDonalds does like to hire the better students.  Anyway, Chris spends a
>lot of time with Nicki.  I know from phone calls that he is getting more
>involved sexually.  Brother.
>         Something else happened this week that is kind of sad.  Maybe
> some of you
>remember me telling a story about an old guy from our church who mistakenly
>thought that he was supposed to read four chapters of Proverbs?  Well,
>anyway, the important point is that he was a dear old guy who had to move
>away from our area and move in with his daughter because he couldn't live
>independently any more.  Anyway, he really missed fellow shipping at our
>church so I made him a prayer shawl as a kind of way of letting him know
>that we still love him and pray for him and miss him.  I finished it on
>Tuesday, but I never got to give it to him because he was killed in a cr
>accident on Wednesday.  I know that he's much better off now with Jesus,
>but I am left just wishing that I could have said goodbye.
>         It's interesting that you guys are talking about memories.  I
> know that
>what is going on with my kids is a result of their choices.  I know that
>Greg and I have really tried to be supportive and offer good advice that
>they just don't want to take.  When I was a kid, I"m the youngest of seven,
>I used to have to sit through meals listening to my parents complain about
>all the mistakes that my older siblings were making with there
>lives.  Because I'm a pleaser, I had  always wanted to be the one to escape
>from the litany.  I wanted to be the good Christian girl with the good
>husband and good kids.  Well, I really have to struggle against feeling
>like a failure right now in so many areas of my life.  I get so frustrated
>because, all of a sudden, I'll just want to start crying and I can't even
>point to a direct reason why.  I just have to live moment by moment.
>God bless,
>Kathy