Say, I have finally figured out how to make money off of people on the
internet.  I opened up a Pay Pal account.  Ain't that wonderful?  I can put
a link at the bottom of each email I write, and I plan on writing a ton of
them each day, and you can click on that link every time you read a message
of mine, and make a sizable, generous, bigger than life donation directly to
me.  Built in offerings.  Cool, hey?  I new you would like it.  Remember,
you can't out give God.  If you believe that one, I'll tell you next about
when the rapture is going to happen and all about global warming, the Easter
bunny, and Santa Claus.  So, stay tuned, have your credit card handy, or in
case you don't have a plastic card, or all of your cards are maxed out, Pay
Pal also takes electronic check bank transfers.  Thought you'd get by me by
lying about not having a credit card, didn't you?  Say, this thing about
marketing the church has potential, I do believe.  Echurch can start with 10
percent and then, as I preach new messages on giving, we will squeeze the
percentage up little by little until we reach a comfortable amount.
Comfortable for me, maybe not for you, but if you are going to be a
Christian, a mighty good Christian, surely you know you have to give more
than 10 percent.  Maybe I'll start at 5 percent and work my way up to ten.
That sounds easier.  Don't give me this argument that you are already giving
to your own church.  Oh, no, that won't fly here.  So you say you are going
to log off of echurch?  Fine.  I have your email address and I'll keep
sending you private emails every day to remind you that God is watching your
checkbook.  So you pray about it.  Well, forget that.  You don't need to
pray about something you already know is commanded by God.  Don't you go
talking against the servant of the Lord.  You know what happened to 42 kids
that made fun of old bald headed Elishah, don't you?  Bears in the woods and
all.  Don't fool around, now.  Be faithful.  God loves a cheerful giver.
Don't make me preach on your bad attitude either.  I hate doing that because
I love you so much but sometimes it has to be done for your own good.  By
the way, Pay Pal can set up weekly, or monthly, automatic donations so
you'll never forget to submit your substantial financial gift to
echurch-USA.  god bless you for your dedication and faithfulness.  I'll be
praying for you, that you do the right thing, that is.  Don't let me down
now, excuse me, I mean, don't let God down now with your financial giving to
echurch.  I hope nobody takes this seriously but you never know.

Phil.


Victory Isn't Something You Have; It Is What You Are.
www.SafePlaceFellowship.com