Steph,
I know it seems very difficult right now but just hang on, help is on the 
way.  We will all be praying with you and for you that the Lord will give 
you the strength and patience to wrestle with the little one and then to 
learn to love it.
Probably all us  have experience a time when we just didn't want to read 
God's word or to pray.  The thing is just confess that to God and ask His 
help.  I remember once in class at Bible COllege, the professor call on this 
guy to pray and he began:
Lord, you know I don't feel like praying this morning so ehelp the class."
that was it.  I was just a young christian and it shocked me to hear someone 
pray like that, especially,m outloud!  God wants honesty from us so just let 
Him know how you feel and ask for His help.

Ned