Phil,

I believe you and them, that it's a really hard one.

Lelia and Todd, just know that we're standing there with you both.

Keep us posted - good and bad!

--
Carol - Reading, UK

To you, o Lord, I lift up my soul;
In You I trust, o my God.  . . .."  PS25:1-2 NIV.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2007 5:03 PM
Subject: Re: Lelia's plight


> Sandy and I experience quite similar circumstances relating to my family. 
> I
> was still 18 when Sandy and I got engaged.  My family, before this time,
> thought Sandy was quite wonderful and one of my older sisters, Saundra, we
> often called her Sandy, comment on the fact that Sandy had the right name.
> When I told my mom I wanted to get my money I had been saving out of the
> savings account to buy Sandy's engagement ring, the mud it the fan.
> Everybody in my family turned against the whole thing.  My mom literally
> said she wanted me to marry someone who could see so they could, and this 
> is
> a quote, "Could take care of you."  My oldest sister, who wasn't married 
> at
> the time and didn't get married for the first time until she was 50 years
> old, had loads of free advice and all on the subject of marriage I might
> add.  It frankly, I hate to say this, took me several years of marriage
> before I realize what my family was doing.  In fact, we had been married, 
> I
> just figured it out, 10 years before all the things Sandy was trying to 
> tell
> me about my family finally came to the surface.  My sisters, to this day,
> still don't get it.  My mom did finally start to understand.  What made 
> the
> difference, was that we began living independent lives.  As Kathy 
> mentioned,
> this is hard to do when your whole family lives in town.  When the Lord
> called me to be a youth pastor in western Colorado, my family went off the
> wall.  They said I was crazy.  That is something they have said dozens of
> times to me over the years.  I finally learned that no matter what I said,
> made any difference at all.  Todd is in this same situation.  There isn't 
> a
> whole lot he can do about it except for what he has been doing.  This 
> issue
> has come up during our prayer times in church many times so fortunately,
> besides echurch, they have a number of other people praying for them and
> especially during this week.  If I told you some of the things these two
> people have suffered as a result of the family situation, you wouldn't
> believe it.  I'm honored Todd and Lelia have shared a lot of the personal
> things they have suffered with us so we can be praying specifically.  This
> isn't one of those situations where Todd, or Lelia, can roll over and play
> dead.  Fortunately, Jesus is in on this whole situation.  Believe me when 
> I
> tell you, this isn't your average family controlling situation.  There is 
> a
> whole lot more to it than that.
>
> Phil.