Angel,

What is your son's name if you don't mind me asking?   Also perhaps, and 
this is of course up to you no pressure of any sort, perhaps you would find 
it helpful to post some of your frustrations and etc. here for prayer and 
support? I don't say that to put my, or anyone else's nose in your business 
and certainly you will not invoke any offense if you choose not to, but 
sometimes writing stuff out even helps, as well just confiding in other 
folks that have experienced similar or can offer some sort of help if no 
other than moral support at times.  If not here on list perhaps privately 
with anyone willing to lend an ear.   Kathy seemed to find some support 
here with Chris, as do we all when we have an issue. I don't know that much 
about your situation other than you have a 15 year old son who is in 
rebellion and carelessness, a husband incapacitated due to Altz Imers 
Disease, have a job and seem well read Biblically.  I got to tell ya, you 
bear a heavy load having to be both parents, hold down a job, the 
household, and dealing with all but loss of your husband due to his 
situation. Having  offered that if you don't mind me saying I have a couple 
of comments. While your son might be in a rebellious stage, he is also 15 
years old. I remember my son at that age and even myself for that matter. 
My mom would tell me to do something and I'd not do it. Not out of 
rebellion because I really wasn't rebellious for reasons I'll not bore you 
with here, but it was more the stage I was in of forgetfulness, busyness 
and etc. Friends and beginning to break free a bit was more the reason. My 
son is 19 years old and still I have to double check on some things when we 
ask him to do something around here, but he I think has got it down now, 
finally *smile*. There could be some things he is dealing with as well 
regarding your husband's situation, feelings of being cheated in a way, 
perhaps a lack of authority he can buck against to find the boundaries of 
behavior since as you noted, he can push your buttons. These I think are 
natural things kids go through and can yes seem as though they are mean, 
selfish and careless. You are looking at it from a parent standpoint of now 
being a single parent yet with the responsibility and pain of seeing your 
husband's situation, hold down a job, and to do everything else one must do 
in life paying bills, dishes, wash, etc. and you are probably thinking, or 
had thought,  due to the situation it is time to pull together and rise to 
the occasion and handle this thing in life. And when it doesn't happen you 
get frustrated, mad, appalled perhaps how your son could be so selfish and 
mean, caring  not at all about what needs to happen around the house and 
etc. While your son on the other hand is looking at it from a young man or 
boy, a family that has been torn apart due to health issues. A dad he can't 
toss a ball around the yard with, learn to drive, or have a father -son 
talk with now and again,  or for that matter, to step up and be the strong 
authority which he knows he can't get by. I'm not saying you aren't strong, 
but you mentioned he has found the combination to your buttons to where he 
can beat you mentally. Many times the dynamics of two parents is one can 
play the compassionate one yet still siding with the other parent while the 
other is the jerk and making the demands. That is just how it works 
sometimes. Sort of the old saying "Wait until your father gets home". There 
is that fear of how dad will react and it is that fear that helps keep 
things in check. Not that dads ought be feared overall, I think you know my 
point. So your son is maybe feeling as though he is lacking that brick wall 
he knows he can't get passed.   They will never admit it, but they look for 
and rely on that solid discipline in order to be secure and stable as 
well.  Getting yourself so upset no is not good, perhaps it is high blood 
pressure, perhaps it is just mind overload.  Easier said than done I know, 
but for your sake and your son's  it would be good to not let the buttons 
be pushed. I know, I know, I've tried this with my wife in the past when we 
went through some rough times, and it is not easy, but it does bring a 
strength and change of dynamics to the relationship that works to the 
positive the more one tries. Even if the buttons are pushed, perhaps just 
backing away from the situation before you say or do the things you don't 
want. Also off cuff here, and I haven't thought of it much here, but what 
about finding a saragot father figure such as an uncle or someone who might 
be willing to serve as a strong hold, someone you are declaring to your son 
which he is accountable to. It would go over like a lead balloon and 
perhaps not work, but perhaps it would, I don't know, it was just a thought 
towards changing what might potentially be a problem in your son's life. 
Anyway, I and others I'm sure will be praying for you.  Whether or not you 
feel like it, just from what I know of your posts here in the past, you are 
a very strong woman and obviously very reliant on God for your situation. 
As hard as it is at times with your son and husband, realize you are doing 
your best, and from what  it seems, you are doing a noble job holding it 
all  together and raising your son during a stretching time  of his life 
where even in a picket fence situation there would be normal challenges.

Brad