Jeremy,

Some of this varies from state to state.  In Colorado, for example, you
don't need to be a licensed nor ordained minister at all to perform a
wedding ceremony.  I performed my son and daughter-in-law's wedding almost
three years ago in a big church with probably 150 people coming to the
wedding and I'm nobody.  I was ordained many years ago but that was in a
Baptist denomination I have been out of for over 25 years.  Unfortunately,
it doesn't appear your pastor wants to work it out with you guys so we need
to come up with a plan B and that's not living together.  Even if nothing
happened between you, you would find yourselves disappointed later that you
made that decision.  Plus, it's no fun to keep hands off.  Well, not at your
age anyhow.  Well, not at any age.

Phil.