Cathy, hugs to you I truly think that you are a parent of God.  I say this
because I wish my mom were like that and had had tough love for my sister.
She may have given tough love but we unfortunately did not live in a
christ-filled background.  Your road might not be over but I think that your
son will love and respect you more for what you did and how you handled the
situation.

Lelia

Thank you for sharing that


----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2004 3:54 AM
Subject: We had the police at our house!


> Hi Guys,
> Yep, you've got it. We had to call the police last night and we are
> pressing charges of criminal mischief on Christopher. Since it's a first
> offence, it may not mean much, but it is a huge hurtle mentally for us to
> have to go this far in the disciplining of our son. When Dobson said that
> parenting isn't for cowards, he wasn't joking.
> Chris came home from school yesterday; still not quite sure of how much
> we knew about what he had done the day before. He also wasn't sure about
> whether or not we knew about the magic cards. The first thing that he did
> was go to his room to see if he had just misplaced them. Then he came
> down to our room and asked us if we had been in his room. Greg told him
> that he had gone in there during the night. Chris asked if he had taken
> anything and Greg told him that we had taking the magic cards. Then, we
> told him that we wanted to have an adult conversation about this
> situation and how he handled that conversation would determine how
> serious his punishment would be. Well, Chris wanted to have the
> conversation right then and there, but we refused and said that we wanted
> to have it up at church.
> Finally, the three of us got into the car and went up to church. Chris,
> however, would only say that he wanted his cards back. He wouldn't talk
> about his lying, his disobedience or anything. Then, we found out, from
> Christopher, that his older brother Matthew, whom we had trusted, had
> known about Christopher's little escapade the day before and had given
> him money so that Chris could pick up a pack of cards for himself as
> well. It was like a double blow. Well, basically, Chris did not control
> himself very well so we ended up getting back in the car and coming home.
>
> When we got home, of course, first we called Matthew in and he confessed
> to his part in the whole mess and handed over his cards as well.
> Fortunately, Matt felt pretty guilty for the whole mess and stayed in the
> room as a witness to everything that followed.
> We had told the boys at the beginning of the week, that we weren't really
> crazy about this game, but we also admitted that we didn't know much
> about it so we had told them to wait until we could do some research
> before we made a final decision on whether or not they could have these
> cards.
> The game is called, Magic, the Gathering, by Hasbro, and we are having a
> lot of trouble finding Christian reviews. We've been to Crosswalk, but
> they have stuff mostly about Pokemon, but this game seems a lot more
> serious than that. The boys don't think so. They think that it's just a
> different form of chess, but the cards have little sayings at the bottom
> that the boys insist means nothing, but it just has to get internalized
> somewhere along the path.
> Anyway, Chris went behind our backs by riding in another boys car without
> our permission and getting the cards so we stuck to our guns that he
> wasn't getting them back and he started smashing the wall and the door of
> our room. That's when we decided to call the police.
> Chris thought that it was a joke so he just left our room and went to sit
> in the living room and began making taunting remarks about how the police
> were too slow and how, he could have murdered us all by now and could
> have been half way to Bangor before the police arrived.
> Also, Our church treasure is a secretary in the prison system. Her name
> is Priscilla. She actually works in the youth detention section. How's
> that for God's providence. Anyway, we've called her in the passed for
> advice. For example, we called her the time that Chris took off on Matt's
> bike, to find out at what point we should call the police to report a
> missing person. She's been really helpful and supportive to our family
> and, she's the one person in the church that Chris genuinely likes. So,
> we called Priscilla and she came from work to be with us.
> The police arrived first and came into our bedroom to talk to us and
> explain our options. He took pictures and he said, I am willing to write
> a court summons, but I want to know, will you go through with it. I
> basically said, If we're willing to hold on to these cards and be willing
> to go through all this, I hope that it shows that we are parents who will
> follow through. So, he took the pictures of our, lovely, bedroom and took
> down the facts. Then, he took Chris out to the car. He made him empty his
> pockets and everything. Poor Liz and Caleb were pretty scared. Priscilla
> arrived while Chris was with the policeman.
> The policeman had suggested finding a place for Chris to go for the night
> away from the house because he had threatened to do more damage.
> Priscilla was willing to take him, but when Chris came back in, he just
> went to his room. The policeman stayed while Greg went down and asked
> Chris if he would like to go to Priscilla's house for the night, but
> Chris declined.
> Finally, the policeman left, after giving us a court date of March 23.
> Priscilla stayed for about an hour. We've given the cards to Priscilla to
> hold on to for now. AT first, we just wanted them destroyed and it may
> still come to that, but we still want to know more. Also, they may end up
> becoming a teaching tool. WE were talking to another mother yesterday who
> attends our church and her boy also plays this game and she thought it
> was harmless. I guess that her boy has some cards with good characters on
> it. Wait until she sees the ones Christopher picked out. Actually, to be
> fair, I don't know if you pick them out or if you just get a deck, not
> quite knowing what all is inside. I know that with Pokemon it was that
> way so, perhaps, Chris didn't have a lot of say in what kinds of cards he
> got.
> Anyway, Priscilla finally left and then Chris came out. He came right up
> to me and asked for a hug. He let Greg give him a hug too and things
> calmed down after that. We explained to him that the reason that
> Priscilla was willing to take him for the night was to give him a cooling
> off period, and then Chris said," that's the cool thing about our
> family."
> I said, "what do you mean?"
> He said, "well, look at us, we're all cooled down aren't we?" He was
> right. Anyway, He helped me and Liz make pizza and then Matt and Liz,
> especially, were pretty clingy toward Greg and myself. They saw tough
> love in action and I think that it was pretty intense. Caleb is pretty
> laid back. I think that he was a little scared at first, but the
> policeman was really sweet to him so Caleb ended up thinking that it was
> pretty cool. He doesn't have the depth of understanding that Matt and Liz
> do.
> Anyway, true to His word, God gave us all a peaceful night's sleep last
> night and I awoke this morning in safety. Yesterday, I had prayed for
> God's glory to come out of this situation. When the policeman took Chris
> out to his car, I remember sitting in my bedroom and saying to the Lord,
> "okay, I trust that somehow Your glory is in this, but I'm not sure that
> I get it yet. I'll just trust you that you know what you are doing." Of
> course, I know that he does.
> Thanks for praying. I had hoped that prayer would bring about smooth
> sailing and an easy time of it and, perhaps it was a lot smoother than it
> would have been if we hadn't turned it over to God in the first place.
> "Oh the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. How
> unsearchable are His judgments and His ways beyond understanding."
> God bless,
> Kathy
>
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