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I want to thank so many, many people for responding to the dilemma that
my grandson faced on his first days in Kindergarten.  He is celiac, soy
intolerant and is very very allergic to peanuts and wheat.  I asked
where we could go to find help when the school did not respond to his
needs.  We received so many great replies, over 70, that I could not
respond to them all individually.  Using the information gathered from
all of you, my daughter went back to talk to the teacher, still trying
to settle things quietly.

If you recall from my first post, the teacher was going to make peanut
pumpkin cookies and then do M & M's for a week (even the plain contain
peanuts).  She did not want to change her lesson plans, because she
didn't want to deprive the other children.

When my daughter went back the teacher apologized and said that she had
been selfish, and that she would try to work something out.  Well, we
were so happy.  Then we started getting reports from the child that he
was being separated from the other children and had to sit and watch
what others did.  My daughter happened by one afternoon, and peeked in
because she wanted to be sure that her son wasn't just playing out the
situation, as kids will do.  There she saw him alone at his desk.  Later
she talked to the teacher in a friendly manner to ask how he was doing
and was told fine.  My daughter then asked why he was sitting alone, and
the teacher said he didn't finish his work.  The teacher then told my
daughter that she was going to do dough clay with the children and that
she was using wheat and soybean oil in the recipe.  My daughter then
went home and made a big batch of clay dough using rice flour and olive
oil, enough for two classes, plus new containers for the classes. Then
she tried to educate the teacher again about the allergies.

After school, Chris said that he was not allowed to do clay and again
had to sit away from the class.  He said the teacher didn't use the clay
his mother made and didn't even give it to him.  We tried not to be
reactionary and let it go.  When we picked Chris up at school, the
teacher told my daughter that this year the class would be cooking every
Monday.  My daughter told her that if she chose another day, that she
would be glad to come in and help (many parents often do).  She felt
this might take the responsibility off of the teacher, but the teacher
declined.  Never before had they cooked in Kindergarten once a week.  It
is difficult to understand why they had to do it now, knowing that it
would be a hardship for Chris.

The principal, addressed having an epi-pen on the bus, and said that
they had the school's lawyers on the issue and that if she wanted them
to carry an epi-pen on the bus, that she would have to sign a waiver
excluding them from all liability if someone were to use it.  She
declined.

It is evident that there is still a huge problem here.  For Chris, my
grandson, it is terrible.  He lives on a farm and does not have any
friends, so he loves the social life at school, and we don't want him to
miss that if at all possible.  A healthy happy little boy should be able
to play sports, have friends and classmates without fearing for his
life.  I don't know how all this will turn out, but I know something
good will come from it eventually.  I hope that sooner or later we will
be able to build compassion and understanding.  So many of you gave us
the many legal avenues to pursue, but we thought we would give it just
one more try. I had hoped we wouldn't have to bring in the legal people,
but that's the way it is beginning to look at this time.  Thanks for
your wonderful responses.